


Family Jewels

by messytoybox



Series: Family Jewles [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, College, Dubious Consent, Eating Disorder, F/F, F/M, Familystuck, Humanstuck, M/M, Mental Illness, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messytoybox/pseuds/messytoybox
Summary: Eridan Anderson has lived in the life of luxury all his life. Until his father gets caught in money troubles. He moves in with his mother who he hasn't seen in 7 years.





	1. Pilot Episode : Wake up call

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone, this is my first piece. The trolls do have human last names, and the ancestors have human names too. Here is a list in case anyone is confused. 
> 
> Last Names  
> Ampora- Anderson  
> Serket-Simon  
> Nitram- Santiago  
> Pixies- Peterson  
> Vantas- Vega  
> Lejion- Li  
> Captor- Chang  
> Pyrope- Pinkert  
> Maryam- Patel 
> 
> Ancestor's name  
> Dualscar- Duncan  
> Mindfang- Michelle  
> Summoner- Diego  
> Neophyte- Natalie  
> Signless- Sailas  
> Disciple- Dianne  
> Condense- Cadence  
> Psiioniic- Po Sung

 Fade In

Eridan's Bedroom- Early Morning 

We begin in a highly elegant bedroom, shopping bags and clothes are hastily thrown around this room. The is a huge white and gold bed has many pillows thrown about the bed. There is a small Maltese dog asleep at the foot of the bed. Right next to the bed is a nightstand with a microphone and speaker set, a pair of thick black glasses and an iPhone charging.

Zoom in on our sleeping protagonist

_Phone Alarm goes off._

ERIDAN ANDERSON, white American, blonde hair and blue eyes, somewhat overweight, and a chipper 18 years old.

Eridan

(Grumbles at the noise, he looks at his phone)

Shit!

Eridan rushes to his feet getting ready. He goes to his mic and presses a button.

ERIDAN

Where was my wake up call?

SEBASTIAN, an older white British gentleman, house butler.

SEBASTIAN

I am sorry, but you need to learn how to wake up on your own.

ERIDAN

Doesn’t matter where is breakfast?

SEBASTIAN

It will be coming shortly.

ERIDAN

(Rolls his eyes trying to get on his school uniform)

And the car?

SEBASTIAN

Ready whenever you are sir.

There is a knock on Eridan's door.

ERIDAN

Come in Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN 

(Enters with a breakfast cart)

ERIDAN

(Shoves a piece of toast in his mouth while tying his shoes) 

SEBASTIAN

Careful. Don't want you to choke.

ERIDAN

It doesn't matter. Just get the car ready.

SEBASTIAN

(Exits) 

Eridan grabs a black side bag and begins to run down many flights to stairs clumsily.  He exits the house, and a black Cadillac is waiting for him. Eridan quickly gets in.  The car starts driving. Eridan is the back taking selfies.

PRIVATE CATHOLIC HIGHSCHOOL- MID MORNING

A large and fancy private school can be seen in the distance. There are lots of students in a navy and red uniform. As soon as the car pulls in the school bell rings. Eridan hops out of the car and runs to his class. A few snickers can be heard. Eridan eventually gets to a classroom and his face red and plops his head on a desk. A pretty smiling girl is sitting next to him.

FEFERI PETERSON, a black girl, long thick hair, she is also 18.

FEFERI

Morning sleepyhead. I was worried I was going to have to make another excuse to the nuns.

ERIDAN

I can always count on you Fef. 

FEFERI

So, what was it this time?

ERIDAN

Sebastian refused to give me a wake-up call again. He thinks I need to grow up or something like that.

FEFERI

Well, it wouldn’t hurt. Maybe you could get to class on time.

_School bell goes off_

Class starts. Then ends. Eridan heads off to another class and is walking down the hall by himself.  He sits in his next class by himself towards the back checking his phone. He sees he has gotten a lot of messages from his older brother.

TEACHER #1

 Eridan. You need to head to the office right now.

A little bit of giggling can be heard, but he gets up and walks to the office. His older brother is waiting for him. He is chilling there in a leather jacket with his hands in his pockets.

CRONUS ANDERSON, Beefy redhead, really into rockabilly aesthetic, 23.

CRONUS

God, what took you so long?

ERIDAN

 I was in class, you dummy. What is it?

CRONUS

Dad is in trouble come on you need to go home right now.

They exit the school. Eridan and Cronus keep talking.

CRONUS

The cops came after you left for school. I assumed at. First, they were for me for my-

ERIDAN

Multiple sexual harassment accounts.

CRONUS

No. My good looks.

ERIDAN

(rolls his eyes)

What did they want from dad?

CRONUS

(Shrugs)

I don’t know, but they have seized the house and started taking our belongings.

 

They eventually stop at a motorcycle.

ERIDAN

You think I am going to ride that thing?

CRONUS

I know your chubby ass ain’t walking. Get on.

(Cronus hands his brother a helmet and puts on his own)

ERIDAN

 I thought you didn’t own a helmet.

CRONUS

 Sebastian made me wear one. The old geezer.

(Cronus revs the engine. Eridan hops on holding tightly to his older brother and they drive back to the house)

 

Eridan's house-Early Afternoon

The house is surrounded by cop cars and various investigators. Eridan is in shock. Sebastian is outside by the gate.

ERIDAN

 What the hell is going on?

SEBASTIAN

 Your father has committed various crimes, and now your possessions are being seized by the police.

ERIDAN

They can’t do that. Daddy was never a part of criminal activity. They have no right to go in and take our stuff. I want to see a warrant.

An officer hears Eridan's complaining and approaches the family.

OFFICER #1

Actually

(shows Eridan a warrant)

We do have permission. Your father has swindled a lot of people of their money. He has committed crimes from money laundering to tax evasion. 

CRONUS

I don’t believe this let me see. 

(Grabs warrant to take a closer look)

OFFICER #1

Are you two boys Duncan Anderson’s sons?

CRONUS

Yes. What’s it to you?

OFFICER #1

 We have a few questions to ask about your father’s money habits back at the station if you two don’t mind.

One officer in the background is holding Eridan’s dog. The dog is yelping for Eridan.

ERIDAN

NEMO! You put him down you white trash pie-

SEBASTIAN

Eridan! I apologize officers. I am sure the boys would not mind going down and answering a few questions.

OFFICER #1

Who are you?

SEBASTIAN

I am the house butler and nanny of the Anderson house. I have been working here since 1983.

OFFICER #1

Mind if we ask you a few questions too?

SEBASTIAN

Of course.

 

Police Station-Early Evening

Eridan and Cronus are sitting in a waiting room. The place is rather dull and natural looking. Eridan is holding his precious dog. His leg is bouncing. Cronus is seated next to him.

ERIDAN

(looks over at Cronus)

What happens next?

CRONUS

(shrugs)

Beats me kid. I’m sure dad will get out though. He has the best lawyers.  

SEBASTIAN

(comes out of interrogation room)

Well, boys, your father won’t be getting out of jail until his trial has taken place.

CRONUS

What?

SEBASTIAN

Unless either of you can pay a $750,000 bond. He is staying.

(silence)

ERIDAN

What do we do now?

SEBASTIAN

I guess I’ll call your mother and tell her what happened.

CRONUS

No way is she going to take us in. She left us to remember.

SEBASTIAN

But, she is your only relative you got.

ERIDAN

What about Cadence? I’m sure she would let us stay. Please, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN

I'm calling your mother first. If she says no then I will call Cadence.

ERIDAN

(pouts and makes various grumble noises)

SEBASTIAN

(gets on the phone and walks away from the boys for a moment)

ERIDAN

(looks again at his brother)

Do you think mommy will take us in?

CRONUS

Doubtful.

ERIDAN

I don’t even remember what she looks like it has been so long.

CRONUS

Do you remember the day she left?

ERIDAN

Kinda. I remember 

 

Seven Years ago at Eridan's house- Evening

There are two adults in the kitchen arguing. Cronus has all his siblings in his room. He is covering Eridan’s ears while a girl is covering another girl's ears. Steps up the stairs can be heard. Cronus’s door swings open.

MICHELLE SIMON, French-Canadian, blonde hair, and blue eyes, wears glasses, has a very curvy figure.

MICHELLE

Girls pack your things. We are leaving.

DUNCAN ANDERSON, Irish German, red hair, relatively tall and stocky.

DUNCAN

Mich-

(he reaches to her)

MICHELLE

(she slaps Duncan's hand away)

You disgust me.

(She picks up one of the girls)

She storms off to a bedroom.

DUNCAN

I didn’t mean anything by it.

(following Michelle around the house)

Cronus and Eridan are still in the room unsure what to do. Michelle goes to Eridan’s room packing a small suitcase. Duncan still trying to persuade.e her

 

MICHELLE

Can you just s-

(Duncan slaps her)

DUNCAN

You are my woman. These are my children. I forbid you from leaving.

MICHELLE

You can forbid all you want. You will no longer have power over me or my girls again.

(She take the two tiny suitcases)

Come along girls.

(The two young girls follow her)

Cronus and Eridan are watching all of this from behind.

 

Present Day- Police Station Waiting room - Early Evening

SEBASTIAN

(Walks back to the boys)

Good news boys. Your mother will be coming to pick you up in 30 minutes.

CRONUS

No way.

SEBASTIAN

(nods)

I hate to part with you boys for being together for so long. But, I know you two being raised by her is for the best.

ERIDAN

(starts tearing up): I don’t want to go. I want my house. I want my bags. No no no!

(He begins to throw a fit.)

SEBASTIAN

(Deep Sigh)

Eridan. I know it is hard, but once this gets settled, you will have grown to trust me.

ERIDAN

I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to be an adult. I want to stay in my house and have things be the same.

SEBASTIAN

I am afraid that it has to happen Eridan. Same for you Cronus.

CRONUS

Me?

SEBASTIAN

Yes. Now let’s wait in the waiting room for your mother.

(They all go to the waiting room)   

The door swings open. Michelle enters the waiting room.

SEBASTIAN

(gets up)

It’s nice to see you again Michelle.

(they hug)

MICHELLE

Same with you.

(She smiles looking at her sons)

Are you two ready to head home?

ERIDAN

Like home home?

MICHELLE

No like...new home?

CRONUS

(stand up and stretches)

Yeah, we got no choice.

(he looks at his little brother)

Come on Eridan.

ERIDAN

(gets up and follows them out of the waiting room)

 

Michelle drives the two boys to their new home. Eridan looks out the window. He has never seen this part of the town. Well only on the news for various gang fights and other criminal charges on TV.

MICHELLE

It’s nice to see you two again. I’m sorry it took so long.

CRONUS

It’s been seven years. Why would you care now?

MICHELLE

It was dumb for me not to bring you two with me and I regret it ever since but, we are now all together, and we are going to be a happy family.

CRONUS

Doubt it.

(Cronus looks out at the window. Michelle pouts)

MICHELLE

I’m glad you are doing alright. Eridan how are you feeling?

ERIDAN

(shrugs petting his dog)

MICHELLE

I hope you two will like your stepfather.

CRONUS

You got married.

MICHELLE

It’s a long story which we can talk over dinner. I’m sure he has something wonderful ready for all of us.

ERIDAN

Doubt it will be as good as Sebastian's.

MICHELLE

It is hard to beat Sebastian’s cooking, but this is just as good. Trust me.

CRONUS

How? You left.

MICHELLE

I wanted to come back I did.

 

Apartment Complex-Evening

She pulls up to an apartment complex. It’s an ok apartment. Eridan gets out of the car holding his dog closely.  They all walk up to an apartment. The sound of a few dogs can be heard behind the door. Michelle unlocks the door.

Michelle:

Diego. I’m home.

DIEGO SANTIAGO, Dominican, Tall and muscular, hair is styled in a faux hawk, he is wearing a kiss the cook apron.

DIEGO

Welcome, home honey.

(Michelle and Diego kiss and hug)

(Both Eridan and Cronus are cautious to enter the apartment) (Nemo bark at one of the pit bulls)

DIEGO

Don’t be shy boys this is your new home.

ERIDAN

Looks more like a dirty motel room to me.

MICHELLE

Eridan.

ERIDAN

What?

DIEGO

It’s okay, honey. Hello!

(he sticks out his hand)

I’m Diego Santiago. Your stepdad.

CRONUS

(shakes Diego’s hand)

Cronus.

ERIDAN

(looks at the hand and then shakes it)

Eridan...

DIEGO

(looks at the dog)

What’s your name cutie?

ERIDAN

His name is Captain Nemo.

DIEGO

Well, it’s nice to meet you.  The pit bull that greeted you is Tinkerbell; The older boxer is Mr.T.

Nemo jumps from Eridan’s arms and sniffs around. The other dogs start smelling Nemo                                                                                                                          

 

MICHELLE

(Turns around)

Vriska! Tavros! Dinner is ready, and we have company.

ERIDAN

(sits on the couch looking at his phone texting feferi)

CRONUS

(looks around a little)

Where’s Aranea?

MICHELLE

She is living with her girlfriend now. But, I’ll tell her you two are living here. I’m sure she will be happy to visit.

DIEGO

My older son should be coming home soon from work.

 

VRISKA SIMON, the exact spitting image of her mother, wearing a blue flannel and black jeans, 18.

VRISKA

(Looks at Eridan)

Well never thought I would see you again little brother.

(she smirks and plops on the couch next to him)

ERIDAN

Hello Virsk.

(he tries shielding his phone away from her)

VRISKA

Oh? Got a girlfriend or something?

ERIDAN

What? No.

VRISKA

Sugar daddy?

ERIDAN

No.

VRISKA

So you are a loser.

ERIDAN

I am not! I see you are still a bitch.

VRISKA

And I see you are still the whiny baby brother.

(She pokes his cheeks)

Can’t exactly call you the little brother, now can I?

ERIDAN

Leave me alone!

MICHELLE

Vriska. You and Eridan will be sharing a room.

VRISKA

But mom!

MICHELLE

Cronus gets Aranea’s room. He can’t sleep in Tavros room due to his disability. He can’t sleep in Rufioh’s room because his work schedule is inconsistent. Plus you two shared a room when you two were little.

VRISKA

That was different though. He was grown and had gross man smell and man needs.

MICHELLE

Just tolerate it for tonight. Please.

VRISKA

Fine.

DIEGO

Dinner is ready everyone.

Everyone goes and sits around a small sized dining room table. The chairs are all mix matched. Eridan is seated between his mother and Cronus. Across from him is Vriska. She glares at Eridan. Eridan is taken back by this and looks at his brother. Diego sets out a casserole dish of Mac and Cheese with bacon bits. Diego takes off his Apron and sits between Michelle and Tavros.

MICHELLE

Smells great honey.

(She begins to dish up passing to her right)

Each Person dishes up. Eridan scoops a bit hesitant, but it smells delicious.

MICHELLE

How was school today Vriska?

VRISKA

Didn’t get sent to the principal's, office so that’s a plus.

(She smirks)

ERIDAN

Like that’s much of a accomplishment.

(He takes a few bites)

VRISKA

Fuck...off!

(She points her fork to Eridan)

DIEGO

How is that John-boy? Is he coming over again ?

VRISKA

He’s fine. No, he and Dave have their dumb garage band thing to work on. They have a battle of the bands or something coming up. I might invite Terezi to come over though.

MICHELLE

It’s been a while since she has been over...Tavros what about you?

TAVROS SANTIAGO looks a bit like his father; he is bound to a wheelchair, 15.

TAVROS

Uh..things went ok...I guess.

(He shrugs)

Nothing out of the ordinary.

MICHELLE

No one harassed you?

TAVROS

Not today.  

MICHELLE

Great, maybe the damn school district finally got my emails...and my phone calls.

DIEGO

And your threats to destroy the stairs unless they gave your son proper ramps.

MICHELLE

Hey! I have to be a mom.

The door swings open. Another tall, tan, handsome man comes out. He is in a UPS or some sort of delivery place uniform.

RUFIOH SANTIAGO looks like his dad, has a bigger mohawk with red streaks, 24.

RUFIOH

Sorry I am late. One of the couriers was sick, so I had to pick up some extra packages.

DIEGO

You made it right on time. Dinner is still hot.

RUFIOH

Awesome!

(he pulls up a chair betTavrosavros and Vriska. Then he ruffles Tavros hair)

How you doin kid?

TAVROS

(smiles)

ERIDAN

(looks at his older brother)

How come you never give me that much affection?

CRONUS

You never asked.

ERIDAN

Brotherly love and attention isn’t something you ask for.

CRONUS

You have run every time I have tried to hug you.

ERIDAN

That’s because it usually results in some prank or some other bullshit.

CRONUS

(flicks Eridan’s head)

ERIDAN

(whiny noise)

Why you fuck!

MICHELLE

BOYS!

Both Eridan and Cronus stop and straighten their posture. Eridan goes back to eating.

RUFIOH

You two must be my two new step brothers.

CRONUS

Yeah. I'm Cronus. The annoying spoiled prince is my younger brother Eridan.

ERIDAN

Hey! I’m not spoiled.

(he pouts)

VRISKA

You have a purse dog.

ERIDAN

Any dog can be a purse dog. You just need a bigger bag.

(he gets another scoop of mac and cheese)

This is good. This is my friend.

(eats)

TAVROS

So you two live in the big mansion on the hill?

CRONUS

Did. Yeah, the one to the left.

TAVROS

That is so cool.

Diego and Michelle are in the kitchen doing the dishes. Vriska and Tavros are watching tv. Cronus is in his new “room.” Eridan is still at the kitchen tables eating his third filling of mac and cheese.

 

DIEGO

(leans into Michelle)

You sure you want to do this?

MICHELLE

I owe it to them. I have been a bad mother by abandoning them.

DIEGO

You didn’t technically abandon them.

MICHELLE

I left without saying a word or giving them a reason.

DIEGO

Do they not remember?

MICHELLE

Cronus might. Eridan probably didn’t even know what was going on he was so little.

DIEGO

Man, I would have a hard time believing they forgot. Or even if stuff after ever stopped.

MICHELLE

I want to believe that.

(she looks behind her at her son stuffing his face with mac and cheese)

Eridan… you alright honey?

ERIDAN

(nods  now eating the mac and cheese out of the casserole dish)

MICHELLE

(sighs)

The Mac and Cheese won’t fix your sadness.

ERIDAN

I can try, can’t I?

(his phone buzzes and Eridan types)

MICHELLE

Are you going to be there all night?

ERIDAN

Maybe.

MICHELLE

Just after you are done take a shower and head to bed. You have school tomorrow.

Diego

(looks at Michelle)

Aren't you going to stop him?

MICHELLE

He has had a rough day. If this continues tomorrow, I’ll put a stop to this.

 

It eventually cuts to night. Eridan is lying in bed next to Vriska who is trying to lie a far away from Eridan as possible. Eridan pets his dog who is sleeping on his tummy. He pouts.

 

 


	2. Episode 1: Welcome to Public School, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's first day of public school. Let's meet some friends!

Fade In

Simon-Santiago Apartment Early Morning

Eridan is asleep peacefully, dreaming of the days back when he was in his old house. A pillow suddenly wops his head.

ERIDAN

(wakes up)

What the sweet fuck?!

VRISKA

Wake up lard ass it’s time to go to school. We leave in 15 minutes.

ERIDAN

(He groggily steps out of bed and yawns)

Alright...get Sebastian to get the car ready and breakfast. I’ll be ready in a second.

VRISKA

Who? Your local maid and butlers aren’t here dumbass. Our dad fucked up, remember?

ERIDAN

I was hoping that was a bad dream...But I’m still here at this house that smells of piss and 3-day old Mexican food.

VRISKA

Just get ready.

(she leaves)

Eridan gets dressed wearing a pair of skinny jeans, a purple flannel, and a scarf. He walks into the kitchen.

ERIDAN

Where’s breakfast?

VRISKA

You were asleep, so you get none.

ERIDAN

I can’t function without it.

VRISKA

I won’t kill you to skip a meal every now and again. Come on the bus will be here shortly.

ERIDAN

...The bus? Like a public school bus?

VRISKA

Yeah? Guess you have never been on one huh? Well, you are going to get a wake-up call come on.

ERIDAN

What about Tav?

VRISKA

His bus comes 30 minutes before ours.

ERIDAN

Like a ...short bus.

VRISKA

It’s the only bus with a wheelchair ramp.

(She pulls Eridan)

ERIDAN

Where are we going?

VRISKA

Like I fucking said the bus stop dumbass (she pulls Eridan to the street corner where lots of other high school kids are standing around

ERIDAN

Shouldn’t mom be driving us since...I haven’t even registered.

VRISKA

She will come to school eventually to get that shit sorted out. Just don’t stand so close to me, I don’t want people to know you are my brother.

ERIDAN

Kinda hard to hide the fact.

VRISKA

We have blonde hair, blue eyes, are pale as fuck and have glasses. That doesn’t make us related.

 

A bus rolls around the corner Eridan hesitantly gets on, the bus chaos, the camera zooms into various important characters we will meet later ex Terezi, Gamzee, Rose, etc. Eridan manages to find a seat by himself, Vriska sits next to a strange girl holding a walking cane, and they start gossiping.

VRISKA

Oh my god you wouldn’t believe the night I had.

TEREZI PINKET, a relatively petite Jewish girl, she is blind and wears sunglasses,18.

TEREZI

Oh yeah? Give me the deetz.

VRISKA

My two estranged brothers came home to live with us.

TEREZI

Holy shit! Where is he?

VRISKA

He's sitting in the seat next to us but, don't talk to him. He’s a complete loser and doesn’t know up from down without “daddy's” help.

TEREZI

What do you have planned in store for him?

VRISKA

He’ll get his ass kicked on his own. Not like I even need to try anything.

Eridan on his phone texting mystery boyfriend. He smiles taking a selfie.

VRISKA

God, he’s been on his phone all morning...Probably bitching to his little rich friends some snobbery bullshit.

TEREZI

(turns her head towards Eridan)

Hey you!

ERIDAN

(Turns head)

Me?

TEREZI

No the other douche. Yes. I am Terezi Pinkert. I’m one of Vriska’s best friends. So, you will see me over a lot.

ERIDAN

I don’t exactly appreciate being called a douche.

VRISKA

Oh my god stop talking to him

(sits Terezi down)

TEREZI

What? Does your twin brother not have a name?

VRISKA

He does, but it’s not important.

TEREZI

What about the other brother?

VRISKA

The rampant sex offender? He’s at home. Probably playing with himself or his dumb guitar.

ERIDAN

(snickers at that comment back to looking at his phone)

VRISKA

Something funny?

ERIDAN

You aren’t wrong that he’s a rampant sex offender. I just can’t believe other people knew.

VRISKA

He gives off that vibe.

ERIDAN

Yeah, he fuckin does….I’m Eridan by the way.

TEREZI

Nice to meet you, Eridan.

HIGH SCHOOL-MID MORNING

Its an average looking high school underfunded, kids, doing as they please til the bell rings, teachers looking in distress. 

Eridan heads to the front office

ERIDAN

Um...Excuse me. I just moved here, and I need to get registered.

The secretary looks at Eridan and hands him a few papers. He starts filling them out. An angry young boy steps out of the principal’s office.

ANGRY BOY

I can’t fucking believe the bullshit. Not my fault Mr.Green is an ass hat that doesn’t know how to teach. God, this school is full of bullshit to get a bullshit degree and to show more bullshit that hey we did the same bullshit together in a whole bullshit boat on the sea of life. Now I got fucking detention again.

ERIDAN

(quietly watching the angry boy while filling out the forms)

ANGRY BOY

(notices Eridan looking)

What are you looking at scarf douche?

(walks away angrily)

ERIDAN

(finishes the papers and waits)

Michelle enters the school doors walking to the office.

MICHELLE

Sorry I am late.

(Hugs Eridan)

I had a case early in the morning, and I am the only one that can speak German and Italian. Fucking Americans!

ERIDAN

It’s alright mommy I got most of it forms filled out.

Michelle looks over some of the forms filling out a few details and signing.

MICHELLE

Alright, you are already.

She sees a man walking out of the office.

Ah! Principal Scratch. This is my youngest, Eridan.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH, Middle age balding man wearing a bright green tie.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

So, this is the young man that lives on the hill. It is great to have you here at our school. Much better than those stuffy uniforms.

ERIDAN

At least the lights worked, and we weren’t using computers from 1998.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

We are working on that.

A piece of paper comes off the printer. Principal Scratch looks at it and nods to the Secretary. 

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

Here is your new schedule, young man.

ERIDAN

(looks at the paper)

Are you kidding me? Average classes?! I was in way more advanced courses back at my school.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

You did enter the school in rather an awkward time plus..a lot of our classes are already bursting at the seams.

MICHELLE

Think of it as an easy A Eridan.

ERIDAN

Fine.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

I shall escort you to your first class. It is

(looks at the paper)

room 311.

MICHELLE

I will see you at home, ok?

ERIDAN

Yes. Bye, mommy.

Michelle waves and leaves. Eridan walks with Principal Scratch and looks around pretty average. They eventually get to room 311.

PRINCIPAL SCRATCH

This Miss Yuki’s room she is an English teacher and is excellent.

ERIDAN

Thanks.

(he enters the room)

Miss Yuki's Room-Morning

Students are working Eridan finds a desk in the back sitting next to the angry boy he saw earlier. The classroom is covered with various posters on grammar. The teacher is teaching. Eridan is kinda paying attention, the boy next to Eridan is not.

MISS YUKI, a recent graduate, curvy and petite, Japanese and White American,28.

MISS YUKI

Karkat Vega! Are you on your phone?

KARKAT VEGA, a short-tempered boy, pear-shaped figure, Half Mexican Half Chinese, 18.

KARKAT

No. I got it taken away by Principal Dick Ass. You have my 100 fucking percent attention lady.

MISS YUKI

How dare you speak to me in such a way.

KARKAT

What? I already got detention once. What are you going to do? Give it to me again?

MISS YUKI

No, because I know that would give your father great pride. God how I miss your brother.

KARKAT

Yeah, yeah.

MISS YUKI

Can you at least share a textbook with the new boy..uh...

(looks at her attendance roster) 

Eridan Anderson. You must be Aranea's little brother. Welcome. I have high hopes for you

(She goes back to teaching). 

Karkat begrudgingly shares his textbook with Eridan.

KARKAT

(Looks at Eridan up and down. Eridan smiles nervously) 

Are You related to Vriska?

ERIDAN

Yeah, she’s my twin sister.

KARKAT

God, I feel bad. She’s such a fucking bitch.

ERIDAN

Yep even being apart from her for seven years...She’s still a bitch.

KARKAT

Why are you only joining this school now?

ERIDAN

Its complicated and  I may not even know all the details.

KARKAT

Family Bullshit?

ERIDAN

You know it.

They keep talking and kinda pay attention till class ends.

_ School Bell _ Rings

KARKAT

Look since you are new you can sit with my friends. Also, this school isn’t exactly open to newcomers.

ERIDAN

I see. Well, thanks.

KARKAT

We sit outside by the big tree near the cafeteria.

ERIDAN

Not in?

KARKAT

There is barely enough seats for the Senior class let alone the rest of the school.

ERIDAN

Is this how it is in public school?

KARKAT

From my experience yes. It a world of underpaid overqualified shit eating fucks, crumbling shitty buildings and the apathy of a serial killer. See you later Eridan.

OUTSIDE CAFETERIA-NOON

There is an overcrowded cafeteria; students are pretty much stepping on each other's toes, Eridan is trying to do his best navigating around other kids. He eventually makes it out alive and sees Karkat sitting with two young ladies and a blonde guy in shades.

KARKAT

(Waves down) 

Over here.

ERIDAN

(looks around)

Oh!

KARKAT

Yes! Over here dumbass.

KANAYA PATEL, Hindi woman, She is wearing a red shawl around her shoulders, she is very tall, 18.

KANAYA

Karkat it is his first day. There is no reason to shout.

ERIDAN

(walks over )

H...hello.

(He sits down)

ROSE LALONDE, a white woman, she is wearing gothic attire, she is average height and build, 18.

ROSE

We don’t bite...well Karkat might.

KARKAT

Piss off!

ERIDAN

That’s the least surprising thing to hear today.

KARKAT

You have a sassy mouth too?!

ERIDAN

You need one when you live with Vriska..and my older brother.I’m Eridan.

ROSE

I’m Rose.

KANYA

I am Kanaya Patel. It is a pleasure to meet you.

DAVE STRIDER, a black young man, his hair bleached except roots, wearing a beanie and sunglasses, average height but gangly, 18.

DAVE

Sup.

KARKAT

Dave say your name!

DAVE

I’m Dave. So you live with Vriska?

ERIDAN

She’s my twin.

KANAYA

Let me guess by 8 minutes.

ERIDAN

Yeah. She and her fuckin 8’s.

DAVE

You might see me on occasion. I play in the band with your sister’s boyfriend.

ERIDAN

Lord, I feel sorry for the soul.

ROSE

They oddly work well together. In like a Kanye and Kim way. Like they are terrible on their own but like they can be terrible together.

ERIDAN

Well, I hope my sister can come up with better baby names.

KARKAT

Like what? Nick Cage Jr. and Spider McOcho.

ERIDAN

Lord who got her into Nick Cage?

DAVE

John.

ERIDAN

Dear lord.

KANAYA

So you used to live in the big house on the hill?

ERIDAN

Yeah, I guess everyone knows about that.

DAVE

Your dad fucked up big time.

ERIDAN

That’ not true my father sure did some questionable things with his money but, I wouldn’t call him a bad man….In some ways. 

(Eridan’s phone goes off )

Excuse me. 

(Eridan goes to the side)

KARKAT

He’s been glued to his phone since he got here. Who the hell could be so important?

ROSE

Does he have a partner?

KARKAT

(Shrug) 

He didn’t say. I only just had one class with him. 

Eridan comes back.

ERIDAN

Sorry, my boyfriend has been bugging me all morning since moving here. He’s cute, but he can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.

KARKAT

Do you have pictures?

ERIDAN

Of course what type of Instagram whore would I be without them?

(He shows the group pictures of him with a scrawny, young Korean man ) 

His name is Sollux, and we have been going out for almost six months.

ROSE

How old is he?

ERIDAN

He’s 22 going to college in computer sciences. He lives in the other big house.

DAVE

The big baking company’s house?

ERIDAN

Yeah, we grew up and went to the fancy private school together.  

KARKAT

This school is going to eat you alive.

ERIDAN

Not if I can’t fuckin help it.

_School bell rings_

ROSE

Where is your next class?

ERIDAN

(pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket) 

Looks like Chemistry in room 202.

ROSE

Oh me too. I will take you there.

ERIDAN

Thanks.

Rose and Eridan walk together and keep on talking.

BUS-EARLY AFTERNOON

Eridan gets back onto the bus and sits in the back. Vriska sits with Terezi.

VRISKA

Looks like he managed to survive day one. He’s still on his fucking phone of course.

TEREZI

Does your mom know I’m coming over?

VRISKA

Like you need permission. You are practically family at my place. It’s weird when you aren’t over.

TEREZI

It’s just weird when both us and our mom’s hang out.

VRISKA

Tell me about it.

SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-EARLY AFTERNOON

The only ones in the house are Cronus and the kids. Cronus is sitting on the couch plucking at his guitar. Two of the dog is sitting next to him.

CRONUS

Welcome back kiddos.

VRISKA

Fuck off creep.

(She and Terezi go to her room)

CRONUS

Oh! I see. I get caught for sexual harassment twice, and suddenly I am banned from talking to high school girls.

ERIDAN

When you put it that way, it makes high school girls want to avoid you even more.

CRONUS

Well, you survived day one of public school. How was it?

ERIDAN

I don’t know it was fine. I met a few kids. Sol called me during lunch.

CRONUS

God! You're still dating him? People say I am the creep. So is it now going to be like an actual sugar daddy thing since you now have no money?

ERIDAN

No! Why does everybody think sol is my sugar daddy?

CRONUS

Who bought your Chanel bag?

ERIDAN

Sol.

CRONUS

Who bought your Gucci sweatsuit?

ERIDAN

Sol.

CRONUS

Who-

ERIDAN

He buys me a lot of nice things. That doesn’t make him my sugar daddy.

CRONUS

Good Ol’ webster begs to differ.

ERIDAN

If I had my room, I would slam the door and lock your ass out.

(Eridan knocks on Vriska’s door) 

Vrisk...Cro is a creep can I come in here and hide?

VRISKA

Fine. 

Eridan enters the room. Terezi is sitting on the bed, Vriska is sitting on the floor. There are binders open.

VRISKA

So you do have a sugar daddy.

ERIDAN

Whatever you heard the conversation outside it’s not true. Sol just likes to spoil me. I treat him with the same respect back.

VRISKA

How much older is he?

ERIDAN

Four years.

TEREZI

That’s a sugar daddy.

ERIDAN

Whatever...When does mom get home?

VRISKA

Usually around 6. Dad doesn’t get home til 7.

ERIDAN

So we have the house to ourselves till then?

VRISKA

Yeah? Tavros is probably going to be hanging out with Gamzee  Aranea may or may not be coming over tonight.

ERIDAN

It would be nice to see her.

VRISKA

You say that now.  I think your memory is fogged up on what she is like.

ERIDAN

I just remember playing chess and reading with her.

VRISKA

God, you don’t remember much from our childhood.

ERIDAN

I know some stuff. What do you remember?

VRISKA

You being a fat ass cry baby and mom trying to put us in dumb matching outfits all the time. She still has the picture of us in that sailor suit set. She shows it to pretty much everyone who comes over it’s so embarrassing.

ERIDAN

(laughs)

Oh my fucking god really?

TEREZI

 I think its cute.  It funny to see you in those gaudy dresses.

(She giggles)

VRISKA

(She throws a pillow)

Shut up!

ERIDAN

(He sits next to Vriska)

How much do you remember from that day?

VRISKA

Which one?

ERIDAN

The day you left.

7 YEARS AGO- ANDERSON MANSION -EVENING 

MICHELLE

(She is putting away Vriska’s things in a suitcase. She is holding back tears)

VRISKA

Mom, what’s going on?

MICHELLE

We are leaving, baby.

VRISKA

Why?

MICHELLE

Your father has done something very horrible. So, we need to leave. 

(She is holding Vriska’s and Aranea’s suitcase)

DUNCAN

No, I did not Vriska. Your mother is just being dramatic right now.

MICHELLE

Can you just s-

Duncan slaps her. Vriska watches in horror.

DUNCAN

You are my woman. These are my children. I forbid you from leaving.

MICHELLE

You can forbid all you want. You will no longer have power over me or my girls again. 

(She take the two ting suitcases)

Come along girls. 

Aranea and Vriska follow her. They all enter a black car.

ARANEA ANDERSON-SIMON, looks like her mother but has her father's green eyes, she wears white cat eye glasses,11.

ARANEA

I’m sorry mommy.

MICHELLE

This is none of your faults, baby. 

(She puts both Vriska and Aranea in their car seats. She drives.)

VRISKA

Mommy...where are we going?

MICHELLE

Someplace safe.

ARANEA

Are Eridan and Cronus coming?

MICHELLE

They should be fine. I will bring your brothers back.

PINKERT HOUSE-LATE EVENING

This house is an average Suburban house, its blue with white trimming, a red convertible is parked by the garage.

Michelle pulls up to a house. She gets the girls out and grabs the suitcase and knock on the door.

NATALIE PINKERT, a young Jewish woman, dresses rather androgynously, average height built like a twig.

NATALIE

(Opens door)

Michelle, it's almost midni-

Michelle hugs Natalie. She beings to sob loudly.

NATALIE

I see come in.

PRESENT-SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-EARLY EVENING

VRISKA

I try not to think about that day too much. But Mom did want to come back and get you and Cronus.

(Outside door opens and shuts)

MICHELLE

Hello! I’m home early.

NATALIE

Terezi I know you are here too.

TEREZI

Fuck!

The three of them peak out the door.

TEREZI

Mom, what are you doing here?

NATALIE

I have a few questions to ask Eridan and Cronus. I’m in charge of their father’s case and also some general custody stuff too.

Cronus:

Well, babe, you can question me and tie me up with a pair of handcuffs.

NATALIE

Is this how he always acts? I thought he would have learned from his harassment case.

Michelle: 

Nope of course not...He's an exact carbon copy of his father. 

(Bops Cronus behind the head) 

This is why no one wants to date you dummy.

CRONUS

Ow! I can’t flirt with who I want to.

NATALIE

Not unless you want your sexual offender case to be reminded and spread to your new neighbors. 

CRONUS

(Gulps)

Arlight, I get it.I'll behave.

NATALIE

Good. You too Eridan come here so we can get started.

ERIDAN

(Walks over to the kitchen table)


	3. Episode 2: Let's Make Some Friends, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan gets closer to Karkat. 
> 
> TW: mentions of rape, eating disorders, mental illness, and abuse in this Chapter.  
> The poem Eridan reads is 'Rape Poem' by Marge Piercy  
> More triggering situations will be coming up as the story progresses don't worry I will make sure they are properly tagged in here.

Fade in

MISS YUKI'S ROOM-Morning

Eridan and Karkat are sitting at the back of the classroom. They are sharing a textbook that is falling apart. Miss Yuki as the front writing something on the whiteboard.

MISS YUKI

Since the first semester is almost over I will be assigned a final project. You can work in groups of two. Please choose one of the pieces of poetry we studied this semester and write a paper about the themes discussed in the poem. Your paper will be due by next Friday. 

_ The Class groans _

MISS YUKI

(Sighs)

I am giving you two weeks to work on this, and you have a partner. Projects like this won’t be as easy in college. ‘

KARKAT

(nudges Eridan) 

Hey! You want to come to my place after school and discuss this bullshit? I know it's only your second week here, but I know this stuff.

ERIDAN

Do you? I thought you were busy scribbling the word fuck in our textbook.

KARKAT

I can do that while listening to her rambles. Its this fantastic turn of the fucking century invention called "multitasking."

_ Bell Rings _

MISS YUKI

Please have your paper proposal done by next class time. 

Eridan and Karkat walk out together.

KARKAT

Meet me outside of the school by the student parking lot.

ERIDAN

You have a car?

KARKAT

Like hell, my family can afford that. No my brother will pick us up.  Just to warn your my older brother is an insufferable jackass that spends his days on his damn social justice blog way too much. My younger sister is a huge furry too. God can’t believe you are going to meet my hot mess of a family. 

ERIDAN

You can always come over to my house.

KARKAT

Yeah and be tortured by Vriska. No fuckin thank fucking you.

ERIDAN

Fair. Well, I’ll see you at lunch and then.

KARKAT

Yeah.

OUTSIDE SCHOOL-Afternoon

 Karkat is standing by the Student parking lot. A young girl in a pair of cat ears, cat backpack and hoodie stand next to him. Eridan is rushing over. 

ERIDAN

Sorry, I’m late. Just got out of PE. God! Why do they offer that class here?

KARKAT

Did they not offer at fancy rich kid school?

ERIDAN

Yes but...daddy always got me out of it.

NEPETA VEGA, Half Mexican Half Chinese, short yet reasonably athletic body, she wears a lot of cat accessories,15.

NEPETA

Nepeta looks at the chubby boy and sticks out her paw. Hello! I’m Nepeta. She says.

(Sticks out her hand)

ERIDAN

(looks at Karkat confused and shakes nepeta’s hand) 

Hello...I...I'm Eridan.

NEPETA

It’s nice to meet you Eridan. Nepeta purrs. 

KARKAT

(looks at Eridan and mouths ‘Im sorry’)

Oh look here the talking dictionary comes.

An older red Toyota comes around the corner. Karkat begrudgingly gets in. Eridan follows. Nepeta sits shotgun.

KANKRI VEGA, Half Mexican Half Chinese, short and sickly thin,23.

KANKRI

Hello Karkat. How was your day at school? I see you brought a friend over. Hello, I am Kankri Vega. My pronouns are he, him, his.  If you have any trigger, please let me know so I can adequately refrain from offending you. If you need to know my triggers, please feel free to ask.

ERIDAN

(kinda taken back)

Hello...

KARKAT

Oh my god Kankri just drive damn it. No one wants to hear more of your liberal arts bullshit this afternoon. Eridan is just over to work on a project we have together in Miss Yuki’s class.

KANKRI

How is she? I miss her class. I was one of her favorites. 

KARKAT

You were everyone’s favorite, and I get reminded every damn day. 

(mimicking voice) Oh ! Karkat why can’t you be more like your brother? Oh! Karkat how is your brother doing? 

(normal voice) It’s so god damn annoying. 

KANKRI

I...I see...Nepeta how was your day at school?

NEPETA

Nepeta is excited. It was wonderful as evfur. I drew more of my fursona in art class. Nepeta squeals.

KANKRI

Ah, that’s very nice Nepeta... You wouldn’t happen to be Eridan Anderson? Karkat has talked a lot about you. Are you the younger brother of Aranea Anderson-Simon?

ERIDAN

Did you know my sister Nea?

KANKRI

She and I were ASB president and vice president. I was at your house quite often. How is your sister doing?

ERIDAN

I don’t really know. She keeps meaning to come over. I haven’t seen her in 7 years so, I really don’t know. I am still trying to understand this whole town and everything. 

KANKRI

I was also in charge of your older brothers case...Cronus right?

ERIDAN

Oh, no...I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.

KANKRI

Nothing more than run of the mill white privilege and male entitlement.  Still mad your father let him make bail and go scott free. 

ERIDAN

My father did what he had to do. I had nothing to do with it.

KANKRI

Your father’s case is making quite a storm up at the office.

ERIDAN

Yeah, Natalie comes over almost every other day to work with my mother on it. Still feel like there is something else going on that she’s not telling me. 

KANKRI

Lawyers have set rules of confidentiality. That is la-

KARKAT

Shut up! Look we are almost fucking home. So great! SO god damn great.

VEGA-LI'S APARTMENT-LATE AFTERNOON

Kankri pulls up to another apartment complex. This one looks even more run down than the one Eridan lives in. Eridan looks up.

KARKAT

Welcome to section 8 housing. Time to wake up prince boy and smell the piss and poverty.

KANKRI

Karkat!

KARKAT

What? It’s true. Don’t deny your dumbass that’s where we live. 

They all get out of the car and head to the apartment. The apartment is pretty small, random pieces of mixed furniture are set up, a small tv is set up in front of 3 chairs. Lots of cats live in this house. Karkat drags Eridan to his room. It is very messy.  The walls are covered in band and movie posters of Will Smith. 

KARKAT

Sorry about the mess.

(getting slightly louder) 

Not all of us have a minimalist aesthetic and refuse to take our OCD medication. Fucking dick. 

ERIDAN

Your brother doesn’t seem that bad...he’s kinda...cute.

KARKAT

Oh god! No! He is not cute. Besides, don’t you have a boyfriend?

ERIDAN

Just because I bought the dress doesn’t mean I can’t window shop. 

KARKAT

Alright well, you haven’t read all the poems we got over the semester but, I will make this easy on you. Some of the topics we looked at were like racisms, feminism, love,etc. (Scuffling through his backpack) 

Here’s one. 

(Hands Eridan a piece of paper )

Eridan:

(looks at it and begins to read  out loud) 

There is no difference between being raped And being pushed down a flight of cement steps Except that the wounds also bleed inside. There is no difference between being raped And being run over by a truck Except that afterward men ask if you enjoyed it.

7 YEARS AGO-ANDERSON MANSION-NIGHT 

Eridan is about 9 years old. He’s walking downstairs in his pj’s. Duncan and several of his friends are drunk and playing poker at the kitchen table. Eridan peaks around the corner.

ERIDAN

Daddy...c..can you tuck me into bed? 

DUNCAN

(Very drunk) Can’t you see I’m fuckin busy child?  You are ten you can tuck yourself in just perfectly fine. Pansy. 

FRIEND 1

He’s still a kid you know. His mom left. I’ll take you to bed Eridan.

ERIDAN

Oh, thank you.

Friend 1 takes Eridan's hand and walks back to his room.

PRESENT-KARKAT'S ROOM-EARLY EVENING

ERIDAN

(Is still reading the poem tears are falling down his cheeks) 

KARKAT

Are you alright dude?

ERIDAN

Huh? 

(wipes face and see his hand is wet)

Y..yeah...powerful stuff right here. 

KARKAT

I guessed I should have been like Kankri and asked about your triggers...I’m sorry.

ERIDAN

No, it’s fine really...I don’t know what came over me. 

KANKRI

(from outside) Karkat is your friend staying over for dinner?

KARKAT

Yeah! 

ERIDAN

I have-

KARKAT

(places his finger on Eridan’s lips)

Yes, he is. Pizza, take out, what fucking ever Uber offers is ok with us.

KANKRI

Alright. 

ERIDAN

I..I haven’t even asked my mom how long I can stay.

KARKAT

Look..please just stay for dinner. Kankri always cooks his vegan bullshit when mom and dad aren’t home and the only time I get to eat “real food” is when I have friends over. 

ERIDAN

I see., Well I guess I will tell her I am staying then. 

(Eridan sends  a text to Michelle) 

KARKAT

I’m sure she will say yes because like every-fucking-body thinks Kankri is this great fucking angel that was sent by God. 

ERIDAN

You seem to have quite a lot of tension with your brother. 

KARKAT

Yeah, I have a few problems with my older brother. But, only because of the standards everyone has placed on my ass. Well except mom and dad. Hell, I get high fives for bad grades and celebrations for detentions. Dad would probably actually love Kankri if he loosened up for once in his goddamn life. 

ERIDAN

You can’t be serious your father condones bad behavior. 

KARKAT

It’s confusing but yes in a way. As long as I don’t like kill anybody or cause too much trouble for him, I should be ok. 

KANKRI

(outside door again) 

Does your friend eat meat?

ERIDAN

Yeah!  I’ll pretty much eat anything. You don’t develop a fat ass from eating nothing.

_Silence_

KARKAT

(bites lip, gets a worried look)

That's going to sting him for a while.

ERIDAN

What I can’t make a self-deprecating joke? 

KARKAT

Yeah..but…

ERIDAN

What?

KARKAT

Kankri is a bit...sensitive about that sort of thing. Like I doubt a comment like that will send him back to the hospital but who the hell knows. But, the doctors told us to be careful when mentioning things like food and weight around him.

ERIDAN

Wait, wait. Hospital?

KARKAT

Yeah, Kankri is a piece of perfection god damn pie, but that comes at the cost of his damn mental health.  Anyway, let’s keep looking at poems and find one to do the paper on. 

KARKAT'S LIVING ROOM-EVENING

Eridan and Karkat on the floor. They are watching tv and eating pizza.

KANKRI

We do have a kitchen table.

KARKAT

Yeah but it’s far away from the tv.

KANKRI

It’s not good to eat in front of the tv like that.

KARKAT

Your pro-ana blogs tell you that?

(awkward silence)

KARKAT

Sorry. That...was distasteful of me.

KANKRI

I accept your apology

ERIDAN

Th..thank you for ordering dinner for us, Kri. It’s really sweet of you.

Kankri

: O..of course. 

Kankri is at the kitchen table eating what appears to be three grape tomatoes. Nepeta is sitting across from him eating pizza too.  The door slams open. An average height, bulky man with dark curly hair enters. Kankri leaves to his bedroom.

SAILAS VEGA, Mexican-American, Average height, a bit unshaven, works many temp jobs, 43.

SAILAS

Hey, kids how was school and that education crap? Did they teach about the lord and savior capitalism?

KARKAT

Only every other fucking day dad. 

SAILAS

Hey, who is the new kid?

KARKAT

That’s Eridan. He’ll probably be coming over a lot. We have a school project together.

SAILAS

Lame.

KARKAT

 Yeah, it is. But, someone wants a good grade.

ERIDAN

I may or may not be trying to get into college. 

SAILAS

That’s a load of noise. I am sure you saw my “full ride scholarship.” Fucking waste of tax dollars.

ERIDAN

Are you not going to college Kar?

KARKAT

Most likely not. High school was enough bullshit for me. I can make a living somehow. 

SAILAS

That’s the spirit. 

ERIDAN

I...see. Like I can always marry rich.

SAILAS

That’s right abuse the rich man for his wealth.

KANKRI

(Walks out he forgot something on the table)

There are more fulfilling things in life.

SAILAS

God! Grandma Rosa has filled your head with too many ideas. 

KANKRI

No, I just want to get out of here and live a life beyond paycheck to paycheck and food stamps.

SAILAS

You got a problem getting fisted by the government?

KANKRI

I suppose so. Look I just wanted to grab my laptop charger and work on a paper. 

SAILAS

You and your dumb papers and your academia bullshit.

KANKRI

Change isn’t going to come if you just sit around and wait. 

SAILAS

The world doesn’t hire brown people unless it's for their uses and abuses. 

KANKRI

Things are getting better.

SAILAS

Where?! You tell me kiddo. There ain’t no equality fairy coming to save us. Just drop it.

KANKRI

You used to do all forms of activism. What’s wrong with me trying to step it up a notch? What happened?

SAILAS

What do you think? Your screaming head came.

_ Silence _

Kankri goes back to his room. Eridan and Karkat look at each other.

ERIDAN

I should probably call my mom and ask her to pick me up.

KARKAT

Yeah…

They both head to Karkat’s room.

KARKAT

Sorry, you had to see my dysfunctional family.

ERIDAN

No one’s family is the perfect picket fence bullshit.

KARKAT

So, what do you think of the shit hole that is the great American public school?

ERIDAN

The classes are shit easy, the rooms are sad to look at and teachers….they try at least. Some anyway.  

KARKAT

Yeah, tax dollars only go to the nice schools where the rich kids can get gold dildos shoved up their ass.

ERIDAN

God ! I wish. The nuns probably wouldn’t be happy about that. Remember butt stuff is a sin.

KARKAT

Well then god is a damn hypocrite. If the ‘male’ g-spot is the ass and you get punished for fucking in the ass then what’s the point. 

ERIDAN

God has a humiliation kink or something. 

KARKAT

(Karkat peaks out window) 

Looks like your mom is here.  Well. I’ll see you tomorrow. 

ERIDAN

Yeah see you. 

(Eridan leaves to Michelle’s car)

MICHELLE'S CAR-EVENING

MICHELLE

(driving) 

How did the project go?

ERIDAN

I think we chose a piece… It was fun though. 

MICHELLE

Yeah I miss being close with the Vegas. I suppose I might be seeing Karkat more often?

ERIDAN

Oh yeah. He seems to be one of the few that want to help me navigate this whole public education bull shit. 

MICHELLE

That’s good. I assume you met Kankri. Nice boy too bad his father doesn’t realize how good of a kid he has. I wanted to adopt him back when he and Aranea used to go to highschool together.

ERIDAN

By the way when is she coming over ? 

MICHELLE

I think she said next Friday...Your father wants to meet with you and Cronus some time. Like don’t feel pressured to but do consider it. 

ERIDAN

I don’t mind. It would be funny to see his ass in orange. I don’t think he ever wore it before. 

MICHELLE

Have you thought about college?

ERIDAN

Not..recently...Been thinking about becoming a sugar baby.

MICHELLE

(pounds foot on break)

No way in hell am I letting you become some trophy husband. It may sound like a lot of fun at first but its not. Believe me. YOu are going to college or something and are going to live a life that is beyond designer purses and macarons.

ERIDAN

(shaky voice) Y..yes mommy.

MICHELLE

Good.


	4. Episode 3: Let's Talk, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan meets with his father and Cronus has some painful memories.  
> TW: Abuse,Implications of sexual abuse Racial Slurs

Fade In

PRISON WAITING ROOM-AFTERNOON

A prisoner and guest meeting area.  It looks depression many various people are meeting with their family members. Cronus and Eridan are with their dad. 

 

CRONUS

Hey dad...love the new look.

DUNCAN

(Looks at his son disapprovingly)

You two... Has Natalie made either of you two spill the beans?

ERIDAN

No, not yet daddy. 

DUNCAN

Good the sooner I can get free the sooner we can get this shit fixed. The job I have for you two is to keep your mouth shut about everything.

CRONUS

Of course.

ERIDAN

Yes, daddy. 

DUNCAN

I see your mother didn’t want to come. 

ERIDAN

Mommy….had some hard words for you and gave the prison the bird when she dropped us off. 

CRONUS

My motorcycle is too “dangerous,” and I drive too “fast.” Whatever the hell that means. I am a dude that likes to live dangerously. 

DUNCAN

Just humor your mother for a few more weeks my trial is in two months. It’s amazing what a little cash can do to persuade some government sluts.

ERIDAN

Isn’t that what you are in trouble for?

DUNCAN

No… I’m in trouble with other things. Maybe some even worse things if they feel like digging. 

ERIDAN

(gives a worried look,)

Yes, daddy.

CRONUS

Doubt those damn lawyers will find any info on that. Besides even if they did they would have to bring mom into this.

DUNCAN

That’s true.

CRONUS

They are only putting you on trial for money stuff. Which you being you...You should be fine. 

DUNCAN

That’s what I like to hear from my heir. 

_ Bell Rings  _

GUARD 1

 Alright give your loved ones one hug and please return to your cells.

DUNCAN

(rolls his eyes)

Well, I will see you boys at the trial. Remember what I said.

CRONUS

Yes, dad.

ERIDAN

Bye daddy.

Duncan follows other inmates back to cells.

MICHELLE'S CAR-AFTERNOON

Michelle is driving Cronus and Eridan back home.

MICHELLE

How your meeting with your father go?

ERIDAN

It was fine.

CRONUS

Why do you care? 

MICHELLE

You two are my sons. I have my regrets, but I want to fix them.

CRONUS

Well, it’s too late.  I’m 23 mom. I don’t need you.

MICHELLE

Really? You can live on your own with no job experience, no higher education, and no money?

CRONUS

(grumbles)

Fucking bitch.

MICHELLE

I get why you are mad, but you out of anyone should know why I had to leave.

CRONUS

Cause you were a bitch that didn’t know her place.

MICHELLE

I see you don’t remember. Or you refuse to remember. 

7 YEARS AGO-ANDERSON MANSION-NIGHT

Cronus is in his pj’s walking past his parent's room when Aranea comes out crying.

 

CRONUS

What’s wrong? Did dad scold you?

ARANEA

I…

DUNCAN

(Opens the door) 

Cronus, Aranea get to bed. Now!

CRONUS & ARAN,EA

Yes, father. 

(they walk to each other's bedrooms from across the hall) 

Aranea looks to the left and looks to the right. She gestures Cronus to come to her room.  Cronus is confused but, follows her in.

ARANEA'S ROOM-NIGHT

Aranea’s room is eerily organized. There is a bookshelf filled with many books. Her bed is huge with one giant black teddy bear. She flips the bear over. 

CRONUS

What happened? 

ARANEA

(sniffles and wipes her cheeks) 

Father...he...he isn’t a nice man. I can’t personally describe what happens but...

(she hic and tears start falling) 

CRONUS

(hugs his sister)

What do you mean?

ARANEA

It just hurts a lot. That’s all I can say. This isn’t the first time he has done this. He only does this when mom is gone and out with her friends. The first time was really scary, and I bled a lot. Father didn’t want me to tell mommy.  He threatened me if I did. 

CRONUS

You really should tell mommy though. If you are bleeding and are hurting. 

ARANEA

(shakes her head) 

No...I am not even sure if I should be telling you. 

CRONUS

If you can’t tell her then maybe I can. Dad isn’t threatening me. He loves me a lot.

ARANEA

That’s true but….I don’t want you getting hurt. 

CRONUS

Hurt me? The oldest most handsome son?  He wouldn’t dare. I will do it tomorrow. Okay?

ARANEA

(nods)

I trust you.

CRONUS

Dad is going to be gone all day tomorrow. He won’t be able to do whatever he is doing.

ARANEA

That’s true. Alright pinky promise 

(she held out her pinky) 

CRONUS

(crosses his and nods) 

Alright now let’s both get some sleep.

(Cronus walks off to his bed ) 

ANDERSON KITCHEN-MORNING

State of the art kitchen. Everything is white marble. Michelle is making breakfast with Sebastian. Cronus is coming downstairs before the rest of his siblings. 

MICHELLE

Oh ! You are up early honey. Do you want some pancakes?

CRONUS

Yes please...uh mommy... something is going on that I need to tell you 

MICHELLE

(Making Cronus a plate) 

Oh? What is it, sweetie?

(hands Cronus plate) 

CRONUS

(takes it and sits at the table. Michelle follows him)

Something strange is going on between dad and Aranea. 

MICHELLE

What do you mean by strange? 

CRONUS

(takes a bite) 

Well… I was walking from the bathroom last night back to my bedroom, and Aranea came out of dad’s room crying.

MICHELLE

Did she do something wrong?

CRONUS

(shakes his head)

So I asked her what’s wrong...Every time you leave to hang out with your friends in the evening...He takes Aranea to his bedroom.

MICHELLE

(her face starts to shift to anger)

What does he do exactly?

CRONUS

I don’t know Aranea couldn’t even describe it herself. She just said when he first started doing it she would bleed a lot and it still hurts. Dad also threatens her if she told anybody. So I am telling you, so she doesn’t get in trouble.

MICHELLE

(trying to hold back tears and anger)

I see... Sebastian can you keep making breakfast… I have something I need to take care of.

SEBASTIAN

Of course.

CRONUS

(Eating his breakfast) 

Did I do something wrong? Mommy seemed upset. 

SEBASTIAN

No, you made the right choice my boy. I am sorry for not realizing it sooner myself. 

CRONUS

Realizing what?

UPSTAIR'S-EVENING

Michelle and Duncan are fighting.

MICHELLE

Girls pack your things. We are leaving.

DUNCAN

Mich-

(he reaches to her)

MICHELLE

(she slaps Duncan's hand away) 

You disgust me. 

(She picks up Vriska. She storms off to Aranea’s room making a suitcase for her.)

Duncan: 

I didn’t mean anything by it. 

(following Michelle around the house) 

Cronus and Eridan are still in the room unsure what to do. Michelle goes to Eridan’s and Vriska’s room and makes a suitcase for Vriska. Duncan still trying to persuade her.

 

MICHELLE

Can you just s-

DUNCAN

(Duncan slaps her) 

You are my woman. These are my children. I forbid you from leaving.

MICHELLE

You can forbid all you want. You will no longer have power over me or my girls again. 

(She take the two tiny suitcases) 

Come along girls. 

Aranea and Vriska follow her. Cronus and Eridan are watching all of this from behind.

DUNCAN

(Turns his head towards Cronus) 

You fuckin brat.

(He grabs an empty liquor bottle and smashes it against Cronus’s head) 

SEBASTIAN

Sir! 

(Holding Duncan back)

You need to stop this at once. Do you want the press learning about this?

Eridan is scared and is backing away. Cronus is on the floor bleeding, trying to hold back tears.

DUNCAN

Y...your right. Clean up this mess. 

(He storms off) 

SEBASTIAN

Cronus...Cronus can you hear me?

CRONUS

Yes, Sebastian.

(sniffles)

I thought I wouldn’t get in trouble.

SEBASTIAN

(cleaning up the glass) I am so sorry I couldn’t have prevented all of this. I truly am an awful butler.

CRONUS

No, you are good.

SEBASTIAN

Eridan can you get the first aid kit under the sink. 

Eridan nods and runs off to the kitchen.

Sebastian: 

(taking a closer look at Cronus)

Well, it does not look like you have a concussion.

Eridan comes back with first aid kit. Sebastian starts cleaning Cronus’s wounds.

PRESENT-MICHELLE'S CAR

CRONUS

If you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have gotten a damn bottle thrown at me and gotten this scar.(points to scar) 

MICHELLE

What do you want me to do? If I would have come back, I don’t know if I would be alive today. I felt guilty every single day leaving you two. But, your father wasn’t exactly the type to find me and bring you two boys to me. Really wish he had. Don’t think I don’t know your father is a horrible man. I want him to go to prison for the things he did to you kids and me. But, this is the second best thing that is possible. 

CRONUS

Father didn't mistreat you, and now I see why you left. You left to go date that damn wetback. 

MICHELLE

Cronus! Don’t call him that. He is a very good man. 

CRONUS

That is what he is.  You think dad is the bad guy in this. This is why women need to learn their place and stay with their husbands.

MICHELLE

Your father and I weren’t even married did he tell you that. I knew if I got married to him that freedom was never going to happen. I would stay his damn trophy wife for all of eternity. 

(Crying)

Your father is a dangerous man. You know it. 

SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-LATE AFTERNOON

Michelle is wiping her tears walking to Diego. Cronus enters pissed off.

DIEGO

Welcome ba-

MICHELLE

(sobbing into Diego)

CRONUS

(Storms off to his room)

ERIDAN

(sits on the couch looking at his mother worried)

I don’t think you were terrible, mommy.

MICHELLE

(sniffles) 

Thanks, sweetie

(she sits next to Eridan)

I only left to prevent even more terrible things from happening. It seems like all I did was make matters worse.

(Hugging her son) 

ERIDAN

I am happy to be back with you. I missed you so much. Every day I would wait for you to come back and get Cronus and I. I would have liked that day to have been sooner, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I miss the days when Vrisk and I would play in your closet. I always tried to wear your heels to make me taller. 

MICHELLE

I remember that too. And you two getting into my makeup. Your father would get so mad about it but, I knew you looked better in a dress and red lipstick than in a suit.

ERIDAN

I think I look good in both. I just have the boobs to fill out dresses better than most. 

They laugh together. Michelle kisses Eridan’s forehead.

MICHELLE

I knew you were special since the day you were born. Not saying your brothers and sisters aren’t special...I just had a feeling. Now could you set the table honey. Smells like dinner should be ready soon.

ERIDAN

Yes mommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I was busy this weekend. I have at least up to Episode 6 written out and should get those to ya'll shortly. The soft EriSol action is coming up. Thank you for your support. <3


	5. Episode 4: Let's Dance, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan sneaks out of the house to go on a date with Sollux.  
> TW: Dubious consent, underage drinking

Fade In  
ANDERSON-SIMON APARTMENT-EARLY NIGHT

Eridan is in the bathroom getting ready. He is wearing a crop top with a black skater skirt, fishnet knee highs with black boots. We go to half of Vriska getting ready in her room. She is wearing a blue t-shirt dress with a grey flannel over it. It’s about 11 at night. Both are headed to the door.

ERIDAN  
Where do you think you are going?  
VRISKA  
Where the hell do you think you are going?  
ERIDAN  
I got a date with my boyfriend.  
VRISKA  
Me too. Can’t you two cancel?  
ERIDAN  
No way you cancel. Besides what’s the worry. Mom has met your boyfriend.  
VRISKA  
Yeah but she doesn’t want me to go out to parties. You should stay.  
ERIDAN  
No! You! I haven’t seen my boyfriend since my dad got sent to prison. You see your boyfriend every day at school.  
VRISKA  
Yeah because my boyfriend isn’t a creep that dates way younger.  
ERIDAN  
Sol and I knew each other for a long time. Besides, age doesn’t matter at this point.

_Knock_

  
JOHN EGBERT, Half White Half Korean, average height stocky body, wears glasses,18.

  
JOHN  
Hey...Vriska.Are you ready? Dave is waiting and uh...this guy…

  
SOLLUX CHANG, Half Black Half Korean, Very tall and stick thin, wears glasses, has heterochromia, 22.

SOLLUX  
ED move your ass let’s go!  
VRISKA  
Oh my god...your bo-  
ERIDAN  
Fuck off yeah he has a lisp. Don't be such an insensitive bitch.  
(Eridan opens the door and grabs Sollux’s hand. He starts walking down the stairs)  
SOLLUX  
So that’s your sister?  
ERIDAN  
Yeah, fucking bitch. She can stay home and keep my cover. We are going out and having a good time. ..I missed you.  
SOLLUX  
Yeah me too. God, it was hard to find this shit hole.  
ERIDAN  
I’m sorry. I guess the numbers aren’t that noticeable this late at night. Anyway, where are we going?  
SOLLUX  
You said you wanted to go to the club right? I got your fake, and I know the DJ. He's in charge of music for the app I am making.  
ERIDAN  
Sounds great.

NIGHT CLUB-NIGHT  
The club is packed Eridan and Sollux are waiting outside.

ERIDAN  
So how have things been since I moved out?  
Sollux:  
FF and mom miss you too. Mom is thinking about buying your house.  
ERIDAN  
We will see about that. Is Mit still?  
SOLLUX  
Still experiencing seizures and getting more brain damage? Yes.  
ERIDAN  
I see... And school?  
SOLLUX  
(shrugs)  
Honestly, I know any gaming or tech company would feel fucking lucky to have my ass on their team. I need to get the stupid formalities out of the way. I want to be able to afford my place. With the money I make on the app, it shouldn't be too long.  
ERIDAN  
I would like you to be able to do that as well.

They get to the front of the line and enter. The club is packed with people dancing and drinking. Loud EDM music is playing. Lights are changing.

SOLLUX  
I’m going to go to our usual VIP booth and start to order drinks.  
ERIDAN  
Alright. Will you come on the dance floor tonight? Please.  
SOLLUX  
Only for a few. Just let me talk with my music guy, and we can grind till we are blue in the face.  
(Sollux heads up to the private booth)  
ERIDAN  
(Heads to the floor dancing and having fun )

Eventually, Sollux joins Eridan dancing. The two getting very very close. Sollux leads Eridan to the private booth, and The two start kissing. Eridan has had quite a bit to drink. Between kisses, he is reaching for a bottle of sparkling wine. Sollux's hands are moving up Eridan's skirt.

SOLLUX  
Do you want to head back to my place?  
ERIDAN  
Yeah just let me finish my drink and then we can go.  
(Eridan finishes the bottle)  
Alright.  
(He giggles holding on to Sollux’s hand)  
SOLLUX  
(leads Eridan back to the car and drives back to his place)

  
PETERSON-CHANG MANSION-LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING

Eridan’s old house across from another spectacular Mansion. Sollux punches in a code at the gate. The gate opens, and Sollux drives in carefully. Eridan and Sollux get out the car and go back to kissing. Sollux opens the front door. He is holding Eridan’s hand, and quietly they head to Sollux’s bedroom. Eridan stumbles quite a bit when following Sollux to his room. Sollux room is a large bed with a large computer setup. Cords, soda bottles, and chip bags litter the floor.

ERIDAN  
(Begins taking off his clothes)  
Ready daddy?  
SOLLUX  
(smirks taking off his clothes)  
Of course.

Eridan and Sollux kiss passionately. Eridan lays down on the bed while Sollux is kissing down his body. Eridan wraps his legs around Sollux's thin waist. Sollux licks and nibbles on Eridan's neck. Eridan gets on his knees. Sollux lubes up his member and begins to thrust. Eridan moans loudly. Sollux keeps thrusting. Eridan is calling out Sollux and moaning. Sollux's heart rate goes up, and he keeps thrusting faster and faster. Eridan and Sollux eventually both climax and fall asleep cuddling each other.

CHANG-PETERSON MANSION-MORNING

  
Eridan is laying in Sollux’s bed hungover. A familiar figure is hovering over his head.

  
CADENCE PETERSON, curvy, average height, a black woman, owns the branch of Betty Crocker products in this state, 38.

  
CADENCE  
Your mother is pissed Eridan.  
ERIDAN  
Morning Cadence.  
SOLLUX  
Mom! What the hell?  
CADENCE  
I will deal with you later.  
(She looks at Eridan)  
You can’t do this Eridan. You need to tell your mother when and where you are going. You don’t live across the street anymore.  
ERIDAN  
Yes, Cadence. Sorry, Cadence.  
CADENCE  
Breakfast is downstairs. Your mother should be arriving in 30 minutes. I would get dressed and eat.  
ERIDAN  
Yes, Cadence. How did you get my mother's number?  
CADENCE  
I'm sure she found a way.  
(She looks at Sollux with a death glare)  
Now you! You have freelance work, an internship, and school. You can’t go out every weekend getting drunk with your younger boyfriend.  
SOLLUX  
Yes, mom...can you please leave so we can get dressed...and bring some Advil, please.  
CADENCE  
You are grown you can get it yourself.  
(leaves)

  
Sollux and Eridan both start getting dressed. Eridan heads downstairs to eat. Feferi is already at the table eating.

FEFERI  
Well, well, it’s nice to see your cheery face this early.  
ERIDAN  
You too fef.  
(he takes a bite of pancakes)  
Thank you for the food Cadence. Your pancakes are the best hangover cure.  
FEFERI  
(She sighs longly at Eridan)  
School isn’t the same. When are you coming back?  
ERIDAN  
Hopefully after daddy’s trial. Then things can go back to being the same.  
FEFERI  
I assume you mean your father's trial and not suggesting Sollux got in trouble too.  
ERIDAN  
(Blushes)  
You heard nothing from last night.  
FEFERI  
I think you misjudge how loud you are sometimes. How is the public school?  
ERIDAN  
God public school is a goddamn nightmare. I almost miss the nuns and the stupid uniforms.  
FEFERI  
Yeah?  
ERIDAN  
They use windows 98.  
FEFERI  
(Gasp)  
No!  
ERIDAN  
They don’t always have enough textbooks. The ones they do have are as old as the computers and are falling apart. I rode the bus too.  
FEFERI  
Oh dear, how is that?  
ERIDAN  
Chaos. Kids yelling at one another, paper flying. It’s like what they show in the movies but like 3x’s the amount of poor people.  
FEFERI  
That sounds horrible. Has no one tried to hurt you yet?  
ERIDAN  
No actually. I hang out with this group of kids who aren’t exactly the cool kids, but they are pretty untouchable. I’m in all nonadvanced classes.  
FEFERI  
Will you still be able to get into college?  
ERIDAN  
Most likely. If they let kids at this school go to college, then I guess it shouldn’t be a problem but, who knows. Maybe I can write a pity essay for my application.  
FEFERI  
What are these new friends of yours like?  
ERIDAN  
Well, there’s Kar. He’s in my English class we are doing a project together. He’s a bit moody, but he and I watch a lot of the same shows, and we gossip about the school’s relationship hub. Kan and Rose are dating, and they are very classy and funny. Rose and I are in chemistry together. She’s into wizards and dark literature. Then there’s Dave...I don’t know much about him except he’s dating Vriks’s best friend and like to turn up some beats. He’s not that bad. He's just mysterious.  
FEFERI  
Well, I’m glad you are making new friends. Do you want to know something?  
ERIDAN  
What?  
FEFERI  
You know my older sister Meenah right?  
ERIDAN  
God yeah…  
FEFERI  
She and your sister Aranea are dating now.  
ERIDAN  
You have got to be shittin me! That's probably how Cadence got her number.  
FEFERI  
She came over last night for dinner. While you and Sollux were doing, who knows what.  
ERIDAN  
Well, I suppose stranger relationships have happened.  
FEFERI  
Like you and Sollux? You two hated each other as kids, but I guess that was hidden under that toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia.  
ERIDAN  
Yeah being raised Irish Catholic will do that to you.  
FEFERI  
You are honestly the worst Catholic I have met. When was the last time your, dad made you go to Mass?  
ERIDAN  
I said I was raised Irish Catholic not that I was one. I usually pretend to be asleep, or I am at your place on Sunday.

_Car Honk_

CADENCE  
I am assuming that is your mother, Eridan.  
ERIDAN  
(takes a deep breath in)  
Yeah...I guess I should go it’s been great catching up.  
(Eridan steps from the table)  
Thank you for breakfast again.  
CADENCE  
Of course sweetie I don’t let even the worst of troublemakers go hungry in my house.

_Car honk_

ERIDAN  
(heads to the front door and waves goodbye)  
I promise I will be back.  
(He gets into his mother’s car)  
Hi mommy.  
(He smiles nervously)  
MICHELLE  
(driving)  
I can’t believe you would do this?! Do you know how worried I was about you? If you had told me you were at Cadence’s house I would have said yes! Give me your phone you aren’t getting this back by the end of the week, Mister.  
ERIDAN  
I...I’m sorry mommy….Vrisk left too.  
MICHELLE  
And she is getting her punishment.  
ERIDAN  
Yes, mommy...Sorry, mommy.  
MICHELLE  
(loud sigh)  
How is the Peterson’s doing lately?  
ERIDAN  
They are fine. (Eridan twiddling his thumbs in embarrassment)  
MICHELLE  
Are you and Feferi dating?  
ERIDAN  
Oh no far from it...uhh  
(still looking down at his thumbs)  
MICHELLE  
I’m not like your father. I could give a rat’s ass what the damn church and nuns think to tell me.  
ERIDAN  
Well….I’m kinda dating Sollux.  
MICHELLE  
He is like 22, right?  
ERIDAN  
Y...yes.  
MICHELLE  
That’s a four-year difference Eridan?! How long have you two been together?  
ERIDAN  
Like six months. I’m more mature when it comes to relationships than you think.  
MICHELLE  
Every 18 year old thinks that… Where did you two go?  
ERIDAN  
Um….  
(bites his lip)  
MICHELLE  
Eridan...tell me.  
ERIDAN  
We went to the local gay nightclub. We danced and drank.  
MICHELLE  
How did you get into a nightclub?  
ERIDAN  
Sol knows a guy who makes fakes.  
Michelle:  
And you drank? When did you start drinking?  
ERIDAN  
I don’t know like 15...maybe younger? I think I started having sex around that time too.  
MICHELLE  
Jesus fucking Christ.  
ERIDAN  
It’s not a big deal.  
MICHELLE  
I guess after that you two came home and had sex.  
ERIDAN  
(turns bright red)  
Maybe.  
MICHELLE  
That’s what I thought. Did you two use any form of protection?  
ERIDAN  
We used lube.  
MICHELLE  
JUST BECAUSE YOU TWO CAN’T HAVE A BABY DOESN’T MEAN BAD THINGS STILL CAN’T HAPPEN! I grew up during the AIDS crisis, and I lost a lot of friends. I’m going to buy you a Costco amount of condoms if that’s how you are going to be.  
ERIDAN  
Mom!  
MICHELLE  
Not a word from you.  
ERIDAN  
How did you know I would be here?  
MICHELLE  
Cronus told me. He also joked about you having a sugar daddy. Is that Sollux?  
ERIDAN  
Everyone says that as a fucking joke. He buys me lots of lovely designer things, and sure I go out and have sex with him. But, it’s more than that mommy believes me.  
MICHELLE  
I don’t know what to believe…  
ERIDAN  
I am going to need my phone to contact Kar to work on the project.  
MICHELLE  
I will text him and tell him to come over here because you are grounded.  
ERIDAN  
Yes, mommy.  
MICHELLE  
How did you do all of this without your father knowing?  
ERIDAN  
Dad doesn’t assume much when I was over at Fef’s house all the time. Besides he was preoccupied with his pleasures.  
MICHELLE  
Does he have a girlfriend?  
ERIDAN  
Many….you could say.  
MICHELLE  
I see he hasn’t changed.

SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-MORNING

  
Michelle pulls up the apartment, and they both enter the house. Vriska is at the kitchen table her arms crossed.

MICHELLE

Good you listened to me now to talk to both of you.  
VRISKA

I needed to be at that party mom.  
MICHELLE

You needed to be at home.

  
(Eridan sits right next to Vriska)

VRISKA

At least I wasn’t whorring my body around with some old college guy.  
ERIDAN

You are just mad because no one could defend you when you came home late.  
MICHELLE

LISTEN! Drinking, going out to parties, having unprotected sex with older men are all things I will not tolerate in this house.  
VRISKA

I …Oh?

(deviously looks at Eridan)  
ERIDAN

What? It’s not like I can get pregnant.  
VRISKA

God who knows how many diseases you have.  
MICHELLE

Vriska! Neither of you gets your phones for a week, and both laptops will be on high supervision and be used for homework only! Understand?  
Vriska Eridan:

(both nod)

Yes, Mommy.  
MICHELLE

Good! Now off with you two, I need a drink…  
VRISKA

We can’t drink but you can?  
MICHELLE

: There are many other ways I can relieve my stress. Red wine right now sounds like the best option.

  
(Vriska and Eridan head off to the bedroom)

VRISKA

(plops herself on the bed angry)

I hate you so much.  
ERIDAN

Well, you could have stayed home.  
VRISKA

So could have you!

(Eridan looking at the open and messy closet. He sees a familiar red box)

  
ERIDAN

You still play?

(He pulls out the box. It’s an old copy of dungeon and dragons)  
VRISKA

(blushes)

Y..yeah. I mean Tavros, Terezi and another friend of ours.  
ERIDAN

(opens the box)

Is Tav here?  
VRISKA

Yeah.

(opens the door)

Hey Tavros!! You wanna play dnd?  
TAVROS

Oh, sure I’m down.  
ERIDAN

Vrisk, Cro and I used to play it when we were kids. I haven’t made a character in forever. I can be the dungeon master.  
VRISKA

No way you are such a lousy storyteller.  
ERIDAN

I mean I’m no Nea, but I can try.  
TAVOS

Could we move this to the kitchen table?  
VRISKA

Oh yeah totally!

  
They move to the kitchen table. They start setting up the board. Eridan is looking through the dungeon master handbook.

ERIDAN

So what are your characters?  
VRISKA

I am a Neutral Evil Tiefling Rogue nam-  
ERIDAN

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Background Pirate?  
VRISKA

Shut up!!  
ERIDAN

I can’t believe you still play as your character from 7 years old.  
VRISKA

She’s gotten better.  
ERIDAN

Tav?  
TAVROS

I am a Lawful Neutral Half-orc Druid named Hanabash Nitram. His background is he is a Far Traveler.  
VRISKA

He’s lame.  
TAVROS

Not true. He is great. He’s a real ladies man, and he is strong as fuck.  
ERIDAN

Shall we begin?  
VRISKA

Yes

  
They are playing. Michelle is watching from afar smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support. There might be an upcoming hiatus due to me having midterms and only having the rough draft up to episode 7 written so far. I am thinking about making a tumblr for this fanfiction. The tumblr would contain, costume sketches, headcanon drabbles, world building stuff and readings of scenes. If you are interested in that please comment.


	6. Episode 5: Let's Reminisce, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan learns more about his mother  
> TW: Rape

FADE IN

SIMON-SANTIAGO Apartment-NIGHT

In an average looking master bedroom. Michelle and Diego are in bed together relaxing for the night. There is a lamp on a nightstand on Michelle's side. She is reading a magazine.

DIEGO

It's nice to see the kids getting along.

MICHELLE

Yes. What do you think of my sons?

DIEGO

I mean Cronus has some problems but, Eridan is excellent. I do wish I could get along with him better.

MICHELLE

Yeah, I hope you two can become close.

DIEGO

You never tell me much about your ex…

MICHELLE

It’s a very long story. A story that not even Vriska or Aranea know very well.

DIEGO

Have you told Eridan how we met?

MICHELLE

No...I suppose I should. 

DIEGO

(Diego kisses her)

Goodnight honey.

MICHELLE

Good night.

Diego falls asleep Michelle stays awake. She struggles to go to sleep. She hears some noise from the kitchen. She gets up. Eridan is in the kitchen looking for a snack.

MICHELLE

Hey baby what are you doing?

ERIDAN

(Holding a tub of ice cream)

Eating my depression. I can’t call a butler to bring me a whole cake and a bottle of champagne.

MICHELLE

Mind if I join you?

ERIDAN

No

They sit together at the kitchen table they both have a spoon.

MICHELLE

I suppose you have many questions...Questions from your father and I to Diego and what I have been doing since I have been gone.

ERIDAN

(takes a bite) I mean yes…

MICHELLE

Well, I suppose we can go from the beginning.

ERIDAN

I know you are from Quebec and all that mom.

MICHELLE

I meant from when your father and I met and so on but if you want t-

ERIDAN

No, it’s okay. Begin.

1989-FRAT HOUSE-NIGHT

Michelle is holding hands with Natalie. They are going to a fancy East Coast Public College. They are headed to some frat party together.

MICHELLE

Come on Natalie. Let’s go!

NATALIE

I have a test tomorrow.

MICHELLE

(kisses Natalie)

Please. It will be fun.

NATALIE

Excellent but only for a few drinks ok?

MICHELLE

Promise baby.

They enter the Fraternity. Loud music, lights are low, lots of people drinking dancing and chatting. Michelle and Natalie are looking around. A beefy young redhead is playing pool with his friends.

NATALIE

I am going to try and find the beer.  I will be right back.

(She walks away)

MICHELLE

Alright.

(chilling by the side. The young redhead begins to approach her.)

DUNCAN

Hey, I don’t think I have seen you on campus before.

MICHELLE

Oh yeah, I am an exchange student.

DUNCAN

Oh from where?

MICHELLE

Just over the border in the fancy land of Quebec.

DUNCAN

(tries speaking French)

MICHELLE

(laughs)

What was that?

DUNCAN

My two years of high school French.

MICHELLE

Dear lord is that what they are teaching over the states?

DUNCAN

(shrugs)

I am not a French major. I am a business major.

MICHELLE

Oh? What do you plan with that?

DUNCAN

Get my old man’s foreign export company. Get rich. The usual.

MICHELLE

Oh, I see.

DUNCAN

(holds out his hand)

I am Duncan Anderson.

MICHELLE

(shakes it)

Michelle Simon. I wonder where my girlfriend went?

DUNCAN

Probably got swept up by the crowd. I can get you a drink.

MICHELLE

Thank you bu-

NATALIE

(Walks quickly to Michelle)

Hey

(kisses Michelle and hands her a beer)

I got you, babe.    

MICHELLE

Aww, you are so sweet. Oh, Natalie, this is Duncan Anderson.

DUNCAN

Hey!

(shakes Natalie's hand)

NATALIE

He...hey. Do you want to go dance?

MICHELLE

Yeah!

(Natalie takes Michelle to the side)

NATALIE

Don’t get involved with that guy.

MICHELLE

Why not? He seems harmless.

NATALIE

Most frat boys can seem that way, but he is bad news. (Chugs her can)

MICHELLE

Are we going to dance?

NATALIE

Of course.

They dance together for most of the night. They both keep on drinking. Michelle leaves for a moment. She sets her drink down on an end table. Duncan comes up to the drink and pops something in it. Michelle comes back 5 minutes later and drinks. She goes back to Natalie.

NATALIE

Hey, are you ready to go?

MICHELLE

Y..yeah. Maybe like five more minutes. I want one more drink.

NATALIE

You need a glass of water.

MICHELLE

Well, I can get that too.

NATALIE

We can get that one the way home.

MICHELLE

Gi...give me 5 minutes. Please.

NATALIE

Fine. I will be waiting by the door.

Michelle is walking to the bathroom sink. Filling her cup up with some water. She begins to stumble a bit. Her vision is going blurry. She passes out on the bathroom. Natalie is standing in by the door. Duncan enters the bathroom and picks up Natalie's unconscious body. He takes her to his room. He beings to strip her body in a rushed manner. He touches Michelle's face.

DUNCAN

Don't worry baby this will feel just right.

(He begins to rape her)

DUNCAN'S ROOM-MORNING

Michelle wakes up, holding her head. Duncan is sleeping next to her.

MICHELLE

W-when...Who are you? Where are my clothes? Where is Natalie?

(She chokes up)

DUNCAN

(Wakes up)

Morning beautiful. It's alright. 

(Hugs her)

I'm here.

PRESENT-SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-NIGHT

ERIDAN

Was that ho-

MICHELLE

(nods)

Yep. I got pregnant with your brother Cronus several months later.

ERIDAN

Don’t take this as an offense but why did you stay?

MICHELLE

I stayed because of the violence he and his family forced upon me. I quickly got American citizenship. I had to drop out of college. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go back home.

ERIDAN

What happened next?

MICHELLE

Well, I got pregnant with your older sister first. I planned on leaving him when she was about 2. But, I got pregnant with you and Vriska. Not that I am blaming you two for the reason why I couldn’t leave. Just… I was so scared.

(Whipping tears from her face)  

This is why I don’t want you galavanting off with wealthy older men. I don’t want you …

ERIDAN

I see mommy.  But, Sol is a nice boy. Trust me. Sure we didn’t get along when we were little, but he is brilliant. He’s going into computer sciences.

MICHELLE

Does he treat you good?

ERIDAN

He can be a bit...harsh with his words, but he always apologizes.

MICHELLE

That’s how it always starts. Let me meet him once.

ERIDAN

Yes, after you tell me how you met Diego.

MICHELLE

Oh yes, that story.

2011-VET CLINIC-AFTERNOON

 

Michelle enters a clean waiting room. There are a few people waiting with various animals. Michelle is holding a much younger puppy version at Captian Nemo. She walks up to the front desk.

MICHELLE

Hi, I just got this puppy for my youngest son. He needs his shot and...you know.

(making finger scissors )

DIEGO

Aww hi, little guy yeah of course. Is this your first time coming to the clinic?

MICHELLE

Yeah.  

DIEGO

Just fill out these forms, and the vet will be with you shortly.

MICHELLE

(Grabs the clipboard)

Thank you.

(She sits down and fills it out. She keeps looking at Diego and then looks down at her papers)

How long have you been working here?

DIEGO

About six months. My boys and I just moved in.

MICHELLE

Oh? How old are they?

DIEGO

My oldest is 11, and my youngest is 8.

MICHELLE

I have two boys and two girls.

DIEGO

Ah? You must be a busy woman.

MICHELLE

Yeah, my youngest are 9 and twins.

DIEGO

(he chuckles)

So, is the dog is for the twins?

MICHELLE

Yeah. Our dog died about a year ago, so it’s time to get a new one.

DIEGO

Well, you are an excellent mother.

MICHELLE

We go to do what we got to do for our kids. So why did you move here?

DIEGO

I’m trying to get certified to become a Vet assistant.

MICHELLE

Do you have animals?

DIEGO

Yeah, I have a pit bull and a terrier.

MICHELLE

Aww how cute.

VET ASSISTANT #1

Captain Nemo.

MICHELLE

(She walks over smiling at Diego)

PRESENT-SIMON-SANTIAGO-NIGHT

ERIDAN

Ah. I see now. 

(taking another bite of ice cream)

MICHELLE

 I began to see him in secret. That's where I went off to when your father was left alone. I understand that was a mistake. I should have just left him there. But, after I left your father, Diego and I got more serious, and it is still going great.

ERIDAN

I am happy you are safe now mommy.

MICHELLE

Yes. I am happy your sisters are safe too.

ERIDAN

What about the wedding?

MICHELLE

It was beautiful but, I think you need to be going to bed.

ERIDAN

Fine mommy. 

(Yawns)

MICHELLE

(kisses Eridan’s forehead)

Night baby.

 

 


	7. Episode 6: Let's Shop, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Karkat go shopping for prom outfits.

FADE IN

OUTSIDE CAFETERIA-NOON

The whole group is sitting around eating lunch and chatting. Dave though seems a bit out of it.

KARKAT

Dave, what has you down?

DAVE

Uh..nothing.

Terezi walks up to the group.

TEREZI

Hey Dave can I talk to you?

DAVE

Yeah sure.

They leave together.

ROSE

They are going to break up.

KARKAT

WHAT?! When did that happen?

ROSE

I suppose you didn’t hear what happened at the party.

ERIDAN

Was this the party held last Friday?

ROSE

Exact party.

KARKAT

Spill it, Lalonde.

ROSE

Dave got a bit tipsy and admitted some feelings.

ERIDAN

Oh? That’s spicy.

KARKAT

Dave? Feelings...No.

ROSE

Sarcasm is my specialty Karkat. He...I think it’s better if he talks to you about it Karkat. I would feel wrong saying something that he wouldn’t want me to.

KARKAT

Me? Are you suggesting Strider has feelings for me?

ROSE

I am not saying anything.

KARKAT

Goddamn Lalonde.

ROSE

You should have been there.

KARKAT

I had important things.

ERIDAN

Sitting in a room by yourself watching Miss Congeniality again isn’t something.

KARKAT

At least I didn’t get grounded by sneaking off with my older boyfriend.

ERIDAN

Well, I got laid.

KARKAT

(bites his lip)

Whatever

ERIDAN

Does this shithole school have a prom?

KARKAT

We might be a shit school, but of course, we have a prom. Kankri has been asking about it and wanted to chaperone.

ERIDAN

I guess this is team too cool for prom.

ROSE

No Kanaya and I are going together. She’s been working on our matching dresses.

ERIDAN

Aww how cute. I guess I can’t take Sol because of the whole age thing.

KARKAT

Yeah.

ERIDAN

Four years is not that big of a deal. I don’t understand why adults are so picky about it. Sex isn’t that big of a deal.

KARKAT

When did you start having sex?

ERIDAN

Like

(ponders for a while)

15?

KARKAT

Don't you remember your first?

Eridan:

Of course, I do.

KARKAT

You look like you forgot for a second.

ERIDAN

Why would I forget something as important as that?

KARKAT

(Shrugs)

_ School Bell _

ERIDAN

Well, see you all later.

KARKAT

Hey now that you are ungrounded. Do you want to go prom shopping this Saturday?

ERIDAN

Yeah, that sounds fun. 

 

LOCAL MALL-AFTERNOON

Eridan is sitting by a fountain on his phone. He is wearing a strappy tee with galaxy legging and docs. He has his Chanel bag too.

ERIDAN

God, where is he?

Karkat comes walking with Kankri. Kankri happy Karkat is not.

ERIDAN

Hey! Kar and...Kri?

KARKAT

He begged to come along. Can you do your own thing while I hang out with my friend?

KANKRI

Are you suggesting you don’t want me here?

KARKAT

Yes, I only invited you was because dad was an ass to you more than usual. I am sure Porrim is working.

KANKRI

Karkat you have no money.

KARKAT

I will be fine. Eridan and I are just going to look at dumb prom suits, and that’s probably it.

KANKRI

Is that what’s going on? Well, allow me to him-

KARKAT

No. I trust Eridan and his obsession over designers over your Ellen Degeneres choice of attire.

KANKRI

What’s wrong with Ellen?

ERIDAN

I think you look smart Kri.

KANKRI

(blushes)

I...Yes! That's what I was going for.

KARKAT

Don’t act weird in front of my friend. Eridan let’s go. (grabs Eridan’s sleeve and they walk)

ERIDAN

Do you want to leave him there by himself?

KARKAT

His friend will find him if he’s in distress. She works at Macy’s. We can meet him back for lunch.

ERIDAN

Alright.

MENS WAREHOUSE-EARLY AFTERNOON

Eridan and Karkat are going through the racks.

KARKAT

Can they have a pair of pants with a leg size shorter than 32? Like seriously.

ERIDAN

It’s Alright. I am having the same problem. The “large and tall” is a load of bullshit. Both words to describe me. Those shirts no.

KARKAT

How tall are you?

ERIDAN

5’11”. 250 lbs.

KARKAT

I-

ERIDAN

The question of my weight is always on people’s minds. I roll my eyes and tell them flat out.

KARKAT

Yeah, I guess I get that.

ERIDAN

(deep sigh)

This is frustrating. Do you wanna look at prom dresses?

KARKAT

I...I have never thought about that.

ERIDAN

Have you never worn women’s clothing before?

KARKAT

No.

ERIDAN

Would you like to?

KARKAT

I guess.

ERIDAN

(grabs Karkats arm)

They exit the store and head down the mall.

ERIDAN

This is going to be so much fun. You are lucky with your pear-shaped figure. You naturally have more of a waist than me. You won’t need to shove your ass in a pair of Spanx.

KARKAT

Do you wear Spanx?

ERIDAN

Yeah. I have the boobs and the hips for women’s clothing, but my lack of a waist makes things a little challenging.

KARKAT

I see.

ERIDAN

Let's head to Victoria Secret first and get you some form of a bra. You can probably wear their sizes.

KARKAT

You wear bras too?

ERIDAN

Yeah. I am usually wearing some form of a sports bra usually. I have a medical condition where my body overproduces estrogen. So I started developing breast around the same time the rest of the girls were. It causes other things too such as my weight is a bit out of control, mood swings, blah, blah.

KARKAT

I see.

ERIDAN

Yeah. I wear a 52 E. If I feel like wearing a real one.

(Looks at Karkat)

You are most likey a B...maybe a C?

VICTORIA SECRET-EARLY AFTERNOON

They enter the store. Eridan begins to look through bras.

KARKAT

Do they actually size...men?

ERIDAN

They probably won’t measure because of transphobic bullshit. But.

(looking through bras)

You wouldn’t happen to know your rib cage size.

KARKAT

My what?

ERIDAN

(pulls out a tape measure from his bag and wraps it around Karkat)

Try a 38 C.

(Looking through the bras and grabs one)

Here.

(Hands Karkat a simple white bra)

KARKAT

(takes it)

You sure?

ERIDAN

(walks Karkat over to fitting room)

No one is here find an empty room.

KARKAT

(He enters and begins to try on the bra)

ERIDAN

How does it feel?

KARKAT

It’s ...a new feeling.

ERIDAN

Does it fit?

KARKAT

Yeah.

ERIDAN

Great, let's go pay for it and the head off to a prom dress shop.

KARKAT

Yeah….Yeah! Fuck it.

MACY'S-NOON

They are looking at dresses.

PORRIM PATEL, young tall and curvy Indian woman, she is a store assistant,23. 

PORRIM

Hello Karkat. I wouldn’t expect to see you in the dress section.

KARKAT

(turns bright red)

Porrim! I-

ERIDAN

Dresses are genderless. Clothing has no gender. The masculine options are boring. So we thought we would look at dresses.

PORRIM

That’s completely true. I just wouldn’t expect you to stray from your sweatpants and hoodies.

KARKAT

I...it’s for prom….Don’t tell me Kankri is nearby.

PORRIM

Did you leave your brother by himself?

KARKAT

He’s 23. He will be fine. I made sure he took his meds this morning.

PORRIM

He could have purged afterwards.

Karkat:

Fuck! Eridan we need to go find my brother. See you later Porrim

(Both run out. Karkat starts calling Kankri on his phone)

Kankri, where are you?

KANKRI

I am at the Starbucks in the food court doing homework.

KARKAT

Alright Eridan and I are headed over

(puts his phone in pocket)

ERIDAN

Why are we running to him?

KARKAT

I don’t know.

(They slow down)

ERIDAN

He seems fine from your phone call.

KARKAT

Right now. He has a lot of mental health problems.

ERIDAN

Such as?

KARKAT

Anxiety, depression. His OCD is really what can cause problems in public.

ERIDAN

Isn’t that just a fancy term for being neat?

KARKAT

God, I wish. Like since he’s busy doing homework it should be ok but who knows? He could be rearranging the napkin holders and chairs.

ERIDAN

What are you talking about?

KARKAT

I guess the best incident I could give to you is when he was 6. So, mom puts Kankri to bed and the rest of us. Everyone is asleep. There is some soft rustling in Kankri’s room. Til about 3 in the morning when my mom and dad decided to check on him. He had been making and re making his bed.

ERIDAN

I see.

Kankri is sitting by the Starbucks drinking a bottle of water, has headphones in and working on his laptop.

KARKAT

There you are.

KANKRI

Yes? Are you two hungry and looking for lunch money?

KARKAT

No , well yes. But, Porrim sent us over to check on you.

KANKRI

Of course, she would. I am fine as long as I got my headphones and stay in one place. (Notices the bag) Why were you in Victoria Secret?

ERIDAN

Kar wanted to explore feminine styles of clothing. As someone who has worn feminine styles since I was 13. So I thought I would teach him.

KANKRI

I see.

KARKAT

Yeah, could we have like $20 for lunch?

KANKRI

Of course.

(hands Karkat money)

KARKAT

Did you eat?

KANKRI

Yes.

KARKAT

Really?

KANKRI

Yes.

KARKAT

I don’t need to send Porrim over?

KANKRI

She will find me no matter what. Now go have fun with your friend.

(Places headphones back on)

FOOD COURT-NOON

Karkat and Eridan head to the food court.

ERIDAN

What do you want to eat?

KARKAT

I’m fine with pizza.

(They order food and sit down)

KARKAT

Hey, can I ask you something?

ERIDAN

Yeah.

KARKAT

Do you think...Dave like likes me?

ERIDAN

I don’t know.

KARKAT

I mean after that whole party thing. He got drunk said he like liked me and he and Terezi recently broke up.

ERIDAN

The chance seems high. Have you talked to him about it?

KARKAT

Not really.

ERIDAN

I think that's the first step.

KARKAT

Yeah, I suppose. I just don’t want things to be weird

ERIDAN

I would try.

KARKAT

Should it be a text?  In person?

ERIDAN

I think a text should be ok. A text isn’t personal.

KARKAT

Alright. But what if-

ERIDAN

You can say what if till you are blue in the face just send it. He will most likely say yes. Then bam you have yourself a boyfriend.

KARKAT

Is that how it works? I haven’t ever really had a boyfriend before. Hell, I’m 18 and never been kissed.

ERIDAN

Never?

KARKAT

No. I mean like Terezi and had a weird 3-day thing in middle school but that doesn’t count.

ERIDAN

I see. Well, a new you. You are going to talk to Dave go on a date with him. Then maybe we can do a double date.

KARKAT

You seem to have this planned out.

ERIDAN

Of course. I have always wanted to go on a double date with someone but never could because you know. Age differences and Catholic school.

KARKAT

Well, thanks for the advice. I’ll message him later tonight.

ERIDAN

No problems keep me updated.

KARKAT

Of course.

Porrim comes by pulling Kankri by the ear.

PORRIM

You told me you wouldn’t leave him alone.

KANKRI

I am grown. I can take care of myself.

PORRIM

God, I can’t honestly imagine you living on your own.

KANKRI

I will. I can’t move out and leave Karkat and Nepeta to fend for themselves.

KARKAT

I can live on my own soon enough. Places are expensive as all hell. Nepeta thought...I can see that being a concern.

KANKRI

Can you even hold down a job with your temper?

KARKAT

I don’t have a problem with authority.

KANKRI

Yes, when the authority is you. I have read your detention notes.

KARKAT

Sometimes teachers and students need to hear that they are idiots. They also need to be called out on their racist bullshit sometimes too.

KANKRI

Did you and Eridan find something for prom?

ERIDAN

Not exactly. Formal wear isn’t meant for fat people. Or so what the designers think.

KANKRI

You really shouldn't call yourself that.

ERIDAN

Fat isn't a bad word.

 

PORRIM

You could always ask my sister for something.

KARKAT

I rather not put that pressure on Kanaya. Plus I am not even sure what I want to wear.

ERIDAN

What’s the dress code for your school’s prom?

PORRIM

Challenge those dress codes they are written by a bunch of creepy old men who have knee fetishes.

KANKRI

No dress codes are placed, so we don’t have people showing their genitals to the world.

PORRIM

Everyone has genitals Kankri.

KANKRI

And not everyone wants to see them. They can be incredibly triggering to those who have been sexually assulted.

ERIDAN

I don’t know I am on Porrim’s side.

KARKAT

I say fuck dress codes. I just want to wear my sweats. Sometimes nothing else.

KANKRI

People judge for that. You do realize that. Everyone is judging everyone every moment in time. They are especially upping the judgment when you are a person of color. That lady over there is probably thinking you are a lazy undocumented immigrant.

KARKAT

I am lazy. I don’t want to listen to the pressure of being the “perfect” POC. I want to be the same way white rich boys can. Be mediocre and still get by. I don’t have goals and ambitions like you. I am graduating, and I still don’t know what the hell I want to do with my life. Everyone says you have time, but I don't look like. If I don’t get my shit together by I am twenty-five, I have lost the game of life and had no hope.

KANKRI

: Well what do you like to do that’s always a start.

KARKAT

Everyone says that’s a start unless your hobbies and interest involve something creative or athletic. Then it’s unrealistic, and you should find something else. My interest is rom-coms, being a bad programmer and video games.

KANKRI

Have you thought about improving your programming?

KARKAT

Why bother? There is some eight-year-old half way across the world who can do a better job than me. Eridan, let’s go and keep shopping.

(grabs Eridan’s sleeve and drags him along

)I need to walk away from this meddling bullshit.

KANKRI

Please be back by six at the latest.

KARKAT

Fuck off!

Eridan and Karkat both keep walking.

ERIDAN

T...that was..uh

KARKAT

Unbearable as all hell. Sorry about that. Does your brother pull shit like that?

ERIDAN

Not usually. He’s usually off sticking his dick in his guitar or trying to get girls numbers. He and I don’t often don’t have a heart to heart conversations. Or my dad for that matter. I used to only talk about my feelings and such with Fef and Cadence.

Karkat: 

 Wait really?

ERIDAN

Yeah, dad thinks emotions are weak and such. He’s not exactly proud of my blubbering ass. But, whatever.  Which shop do you want to try?

KARKAT

I still want to look at a...I don’t know maybe a skirt? A dress?

ERIDAN

That we can do. I personally go to Forever 21’s plus sized section or Torrid.

Karkat: 

I think Forever 21 I right around the corner.

FOREVER 21-EARLY AFTERNOON

Eridan turns to the dress section.

ERIDAN

Were you thinking about something to wear for the date with you and Dave?

KARKAT

I haven’t even talked about it with him yet.

ERIDAN

It’s better to be over prepared. 

(Looking at clothes) 

I think you might look cute in this dress.

(Holds it up to Karkat)

KARKAT

The color and the flowers are a bit much.

ERIDAN

How would you describe your style?

KARKAT

I don’t know. Comfy maybe? I don’t like tank tops.

ERIDAN

Ok, so nothing with a strap. How do you feel about halter tops?

KARKAT

I guess I could try one. Do they have t-shirt dresses?

ERIDAN

Oh yeah, I am sure. You might be a bit small on the top for the plus sizes but it doesn’t hurt to try. 

(Eridan keeps looking and pulls out a maxi t shirt dress)

KARKAT

That’s going to swallow my ass up.

ERIDAN

Yeah, I was thinking that too. What about a romper? I think you would look absolutely adorable in one.

KARKAT

Yeah, that doesn’t sound too bad.

ERIDAN

(finds one)

It’s off the shoulder. 

(hands it to Karkat) 

Try it.

KARKAT

(shrugs and goes in search of a dressing room)

ERIDAN

(waiting)

How’s it going?

KARKAT

It’s comfy. I like the fabric.

(Walks out)

ERIDAN

Oh! You look so cute in it.

KARKAT

You think so?

ERIDAN

Yes. Mind if I send a picture to Rose and Kan.

_SNAP_

KARKAT

I...yeah. I want to see Kanaya’s opinion.  

ERIDAN

Good on to the final part accessories. That’s my fave.

KARKAT

Really? I would have never guessed with your scarves, rings and huge purses.

ERIDAN

Ha,ha. What shoes do you have?

KARKAT

Besides these...nothing.

ERIDAN

Perfect. We are going to give you a full top to bottom makeover. Have you ever worn heels?

KARKAT

No.

ERIDAN

Alright, so anything that is flat.

(checks phone)

Kan says she will kill me if you don’t buy that.

Karkat: 

Got it.

ERIDAN

What about these sandals?

KARKAT

They look fine.

ERIDAN

Ok, now you need a thing for your hair.

KARKAT

You want it to come back?

ERIDAN

Your hair isn’t alive.

KARKAT

You sure?

ERIDAN

Fine. Here is a bow choker.

KARKAT

You mean overpriced ribbon.

ERIDAN

It will look cute.  Come on let me pay for it. 

KARKAT

You sure? It's rather pricey.

ERIDAN

It's fine. I got Cro's card.

KARKAT

You stole your brother's credit card!

ERIDAN

It's not like he uses it.

(Pays and they exit the store)

KARKAT

(looks at his phone)

I guess I should meet Kankri. I’ll message you after talking to Dave.

ERIDAN

Alright, see you.


	8. Episode 7: Let's Have a Family Reunion, My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aranea finally comes over for dinner

Fade In

ANDERSON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-EVENING

Michelle is setting the dinner table getting out the more expensive dishes. Eridan is helping her. Diego is in the kitchen cooking.

MICHELLE

Are you excited to see your sister?

ERIDAN

Yeah of course. All I have heard lately is how she, is doing, and she’s dating Meenah. I want to see her.

MICHELLE

I am sure she is excited to see you too.

CRONUS

(walks in the kitchen grabs an apple and take a bite) 

How do I look?

MICHELLE

You would look like if your father was in a lousy knock-off of Grease. But you do make it work. Why are you all dressed up?

CRONUS

Got to impress my little sis.

MICHELLE

I don’t think that’s going to change Meenah’s mind.

CRONUS

Sure, I don't have the tits she has. But, I got some.

MICHELLE

: I was talking about things involving your personality.

CRONUS

I am a charmer. I can get any gal or guy I want.

ERIDAN

Then why are you still single? Is it because when people google you, they find out you took pictures of girls underwear.

Cronus: 

Panty shots are a tasteful art form.

Michelle: 

Dear lord. That’s what you got in trouble for. I want to bop your head so many times. But, I won’t. Aranea is coming over, and everything is going to be calm and great.

CRONUS

Meenah is coming over though right?

MICHELLE

I don’t know. Probably?  Just do one thing for me, sweetie.

CRONUS

Yeah, mom?

MICHELLE

DON’T BE A CREEP LIKE YOUR FATHER. For the love of god and the snowy caps of the Canadian Rockies.Please. I know you can be so much better.

_ Knock _

_ Dog's bark _

MICHELLE

Places everyone she is here.

VRISKA

(enters and sits on couch)

Chill mom. It’s just Aranea. Not the Queen of England.

MICHELLE

Hush! 

(opens the door) 

Hi baby.

(Hugs Aranea)

It’s so good to see you baby. How are you going?

ARANEA SIMON, White, has her hair short and curly, wears white cat frame glasses and a blue dress,23.

ARANEA

Hi mommy. I am great.

MEENAH PETERSON, tall curvy and muscular, half lack half Korean, has he hair in cornrows,24.

MEENAH

Nice to see you, Michelle.

MICHELLE

(Hugs Meenah)

It’s so nice to see you too. Please come in.

(They both enter)

MEENAH

Don’t mind if I do. Dinner smells good Diego. What are you making?

DIEGO

Hey Meenah! We got rice, pollo guisado, mangu.

MEENAH

Can never go wrong with mangu.

DIEGO

That’s right! 

ARANEA

We bought a salad and some wine.

MICHELLE

Aww. Baby you didn’t have to bring anything.

ARANEA

I felt like I needed to. 

(Peeks over and looks at the couch)

Hi Vriska.

VRISKA

Hey.

(hugs her)

Meenah!

(high five ) 

How is it going, girl?

MEENAH

it’s going great. 

TAVROS

(Enters) Hey Aranea.

ARANEA

(bends down and hugs him)

Oh, it’s so good to see you.

ERIDAN

(peaks around the corner) 

Hi Nea.

ARANEA

(runs to her little brother and hugs him) 

Eridan.

(hugs tighter)

It’s been too long. I am happy to see you are ok.

ERIDAN

I am happy to see you too.

DIEGO

Dinner is almost ready. Everyone sit down and let’s eat.

ARANEA

Is Rufioh not coming?

MICHELLE

He’s on a date with his boyfriend. Plus he said he wanted this to be a Simon-Anderson reunion. 

ARANEA

Alright.

Everyone sits down at the table. Eridan is sitting next to Michelle and Cronus. Aranea is across from him.

ARANEA

After seven years we need to catch up.

(Dishing up her plate)

ERIDAN

(Passing a plate to Michelle) 

I mean there isn’t much.

ARANEA

Seven years and you have done nothing? I hardly believe that.

MEENAH

He’s my younger brother’s sugar baby.

ERIDAN

Four years doesn’t make Sollux a daddy. 

MEENAH

You call him that though. 

ERIDAN

He wants me to.

ARANEA

Another note to add to your brother’s record.

MEENAH

Oh lord, Aranea please don’t psychoanalyze my brother.

ARANEA

I can’t help it. I need to practice before I become a counselor. 

ERIDAN

Is that what you plan on doing?

ARANEA

Yes. I want to help women and children in dangerous situations and to protect them. 

CRONUS

You sure it’s not so you can have someone listen to your own boring stories.

ARANEA

No. I want to help those who have gone through the same trauma I did. I can understand them.

ERIDAN

What are you talking about? Yes, daddy hit us on occasion but, it’s nothing traumatic.

MICHELLE

Eridan. 

ARANEA

It’s fine mom. 

ERIDAN

I feel like a lot of you are hiding something from me. Daddy had temper issues yes. He was often destructive in his romantic relationships. He drank quite a bit. But, that’s just how Dad was. It’s not uncommon.

DIEGO

(whispers into Michelle’s ear) 

Does he not know?

ARANEA

That is true but, that’s not what should happen in a child’s life.  Of course, that comes with dismantling

the idea of toxic masculinity. As well, as reducing the stigma of mental health and getting treatment. But, you don’t know what happened on that day do you?

ERIDAN

The day you all left I know what happened. Mom and Dad got into an argument. Dad hit mom. After that, she made suitcases for you and Vrisk. Then she left with you two. 

ARANEA

I see. 

ERIDAN

Then after that Daddy got mad at Cro and threw a bottle at him causing him to get that scar on his forehead. Then for 7 years, I waited for the day to be reunited with you, Vrisk and Mommy. 

MICHELLE

Aranea he was so young I doubt he knew what happened.

ERIDAN

Can people stop dancing around this damn question? 

ARANEA

No, I know...Eridan how about we hang out sometime. Just a big sister and little brother get together.

ERIDAN

Is this going to be one of your practice therapy sessions?

ARANEA

Maybe a little.

ERIDAN

I suppose that could be fun. I guess if you want to pick this brain of mine.

ARANEA

Great. 

VRISKA

Jesus you are really going to put him to it? Why not actually analyze the creep?

(Points Thumb at Cronus)

CRONUS

I am not a creep.

ARANEA

That’s not usually my specialty. Besides, I know from certain sources how you have been doing lately. I am a little saddened by how you became who you are but, I am not surprised. 

CRONUS

What’s that supposed to mean?

ARANEA

You picked up some of Father’s habits.

CRONUS

Not all of them. You don’t see me going through the deep web to find a date.

ARANEA

No, but, dad started by drugging girls a frat parties, controlling his family and eventually going down a downward spiral of proving to himself he can well.

CRONUS

I don’t want drug girls or guys. I would never go down that route. I like to think I am above that.

ARANEA

True but pressing and not taking no for an answer is still a rather unsavory method of trying to get laid. 

CRONUS

Also, I would never pay for sex either. 

ARANEA

Now, that surprises me.

CRONUS

Will I tip a stripper? Yes because that’s the polite thing to do. But, I would never pay for sex. 

ARANEA

I might actually do a practice session on you for my degree. If that’s alright?

CRONUS

Me? I mean sure. But, you aren’t going to prove I am like a serial killer or anything.

ARANEA

I don’t believe you have the capability to become a serial killer.  You only hit 2 out of the 9 typical signs.

CRONUS

Nice.

ARANEA

No, but, you are a perfect example on my paper on toxic masculinity and the idea of ‘nice’ guys.

CRONUS

I am not one of those ‘nice’ guys. I don’t have a neck beard or a fedora. 

ARANEA

You did when you were 12. 

CRONUS

I have learned from my fashion mistakes.

ARANEA

And now you and your pseudo bad boy look, is that what you were going for ?

CRONUS

If chicks won’t go for nice guys might as well try it.

(Awkward pause)

I now I see what you mean.

VRISKA

Not all nice guys.

Everybody laughs

ERIDAN

(eats and begins to think about some happier times)

 

7 years ago- Anderson Mansion

Vriska and Eridan are rifling through Michelle’s closet. Eridan has on his mother’s heels and Vriska has on a tie and a necklace. Michelle peaks around the corner.

MICHELLE

What are you two doing?

VRISKA & ERIDAN

I uhhh….

MICHELLE

I see you two got into my makeup as well.

VRISKA

(Points to Eridan)

It was his idea.

ERIDAN

Vrisk!

MICHELLE

(She eans into Eridan)

If you are going to wear my nice products, let me help you put them on properly.

(She sits Eridan down at her vanity. She wipes off Eridan’s makeup try. She begins to line his eyes)

ERIDAN

That tickles.

MICHELLE

You’ll get used to it once you are my age.

(Pulls out an eyelash curler)

ERIDAN

What’s that for?

MICHELLE

It lifts your eyelashes makes them pretty. Close your eye

ERIDAN

(whimper but then does it)

MICHELLE

(Curls his eyelashes and puts some mascara on)

My beautiful baby.

(Puts some red lipstick on Eridan’s lips and a little bit of blush)

You may now look.

ERIDAN

(gasp)

I look so pretty. Like you mommy.

VRISKA

Me next!

MICHELLE

Alright, you two.

(she smiles and begins to do Vriska’s makeup)

ERIDAN

(looking at himself in the mirror)

Can I wear this when I get older?

MICHELLE

Of course. Both of you can. Makeup is for anybody. It’s fun and it’s pretty. There you go Vriska.

VRISKA

Wow!

ERIDAN

Can I wear your heels too?

MICHELLE

You might have to wait till you are  grown into them. Plus if you are anything like your father. We might have to buy you special heels.

ERIDAN

My own pair of high heels.

MICHELLE

Though you might get your father’s height. So, you may not need to wear heels in the future.

ERIDAN

But, your shoes are so much prettier.

MICHELLE

That’s true. You might have to watch your head on low ceilings in the future.

PRESENT-SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT-EVENING

Eridan and Aranea are in the kitchen washing dishes.

ARANEA

Have you thought about college?

ERIDAN

Kinda. Like, I don’t really know what I want to do there. 

ARANEA

You always liked history.

ERIDAN

Yeah, I still do but what job can you get out of that?

ARANEA

Lot’s of jobs. You can work in a Museum. You can be a teacher. You can be a journalist.

ERIDAN

Yeah. I guess haven’t exactly thought that far.

ARANEA

It’s alright. I thought I wanted to be a writer when I first went to college but, then I just fell in love with the field of psychology and the idea of bringing the idea of writing together. 

ERIDAN

Yeah, I remember all the stories you used to write.

ARANEA

Oh no, don’t remind me. 

ERIDAN

Too bad they went out with the old computer.

ARANEA

That’s where they belong. Back in 2002. 

ERIDAN

So when do you want to do the whole little brother therapy date thing?

ARANEA

It’s not at therapy session but, I get out of classes at one most week days then for my weekends it’s pretty open.

ERIDAN

How about two sundays from now?

ARANEA

That sounds great.  Let me put that in my phone. ..This might come off as a weird question but, what was our dad like after we left?

ERIDAN

Well, I have very fuzzy memories during that time. Most of my memories from like that time to like my first year of high school, tend to blur. 

ARANEA

I see.

ERIDAN

Like I remember him getting mad at Cro after mom left. I also remember him he and his friends hanging out late at night with some girls.  But, like I don’t know it’s very fuzzy.

ARANEA

You don’t remember what these girls looked like?

ERIDAN

(shakes his head)

Like they could have been prostitutes but, I was like 9 or 10.  I am sure I got beaten a few times for showing my more feminine side. 

ARANEA

I see.

ERIDAN

Like I had a flashback when Kar and I were working on a school project. I was reading our poem and I remembered one of dad’s friend’s taking me to bed. 

ARANEA

(Her mouth begins to drop)

W...what happened after that?

ERIDAN

I really don’t know. Kar snapped me out of after see I was crying.

ARANEA

What was the poem about?

ERIDAN

It was about the poet’s experience after being raped. It’s weird I don’t think I have ever been sexually assaulted before. The meaning keeps fluctuating between states and counties and such.

ARANEA

I have.

ERIDAN

Nea...I’m so sorry.

ARANEA

I guess I should tell you now why we left. So, you know those nights when Mom would leave to go hang out with friends.

ERIDAN

By "hang out" you mean, go on secret dates with Diego.

ARANEA

Yes...well.

MEENAH

Hey Aranea. It’s getting late we should head back to the apartment.

ARANEA

Right. We can talk about this when we hang out ok?

ERIDAN

You sure? Meenah can wait.

ARANEA

No, it’s fine….I was just hoping he would have stopped hurting others.

(Hugs Eridan)

ERIDAN

(hugs)

MICHELLE

You two are already leaving?

MEENAH

Yeah. Wish we could stay like we used to.

ARANEA

I have a exam in the morning as well as other thing. But, I will be back mom.

MICHELLE

Alright, don’t be a stranger ok?

ARANEA

Bye.

Meenah and Aranea leave.

MICHELLE

How are those dishes coming baby?

ERIDAN

Oh, they are almost done. Most are drying right now.

MICHELLE

(Comes to help) 

ERIDAN

It was nice to see her. Glad she and I will catch up soon.

MICHELLE

Yeah, it seemed like as if the 7 years hadn’t gone by.

ERIDAN

Yeah funny. I was thinking about the time when you did Vrisk and my makeup.

MICHELLE

Yeah. Look at you now putting on your own eyeliner and several pairs of lashes. I am truly a proud mother.

ERIDAN

Of course with a contour like this how could you not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus. Been busy busy busy. Thank you so much for your support. I hope season one should be done by the end of this summer as well as maybe a few scenes storyboarded on a possible youtube channel. I already have Season 2 plots figured out so expect more from this series in the future.


	9. Episode 8: Let's Go on a Double Date, My Prince.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan goes on a double date with Karkat and Dave. It doesn't go as smoothly as he hoped.

FADE IN

VEGA-LI APRTMENT

Eridan and Karkat are in Karkat’s room. Eridan is trying to do Karkat’s hair.

ERIDAN

This is a very hot tool. Do you really want me to burn you?

KARKAT

I don’t get the point of curling my hair when it’s already so damn curly already.

ERIDAN

It makes the curls prettier. Now hold still.

KARKAT

I don’t get the point of this. Dave has already seen my hair in its natural hell state of 90 degree angled waves and knots that not even a pair of garden shears can cut.

ERIDAN

Because it is fun.

KARKAT

A burning rod being placed at your scalp is fun?

ERIDAN

Yes. 

KARKAT

God, what are half of these devices you bought?

(grabs the beauty blender)

This has to be a butt plug. It can’t be anything else. It’s got brown stains.

ERIDAN

No, you use it to make sure your foundation and contour are blended and even. 

KARKAT

 Uh huh. That thing is going nowhere near my face.

ERIDAN

I bought clean ones and foundation for you. I wasn’t sure what shade you were so I bought like In between tones. If I need to mix colors, I will.

KARKAT

(Looking at all the various bottles)

How much was this?

ERIDAN

Don’t worry about it. 

(Holding a pair of tweezers)

KARKAT

Oh no! You get those damn things away from me.

ERIDAN

I am just going to fix that middle area.

KARKAT

No!

ERIDAN

Let me.

KARKAT

No! It's Frida Kahlo chic.

ERIDAN

Really?

KARKAT

I am Half-Mexican. If I say, my partial unibrow is in remembrance for Frida. Then god damn let it be.

ERIDAN

Alright. Fine, I won’t touch your Frida brow. 

KARKAT

Where did you learn all this stuff?

ERIDAN

(He beings putting makeup on Karkat)

A mix of my mother and youtube tutorials.

KARKAT

I see.

ERIDAN

Your eyes are gorgeous. This should be fun to play with.

KARKAT

As long as my eyelashes don’t look like spider legs. Do whatever you want.

ERIDAN

I am not even going to put falsies on you. You have some excellent lashes. I am jealous. When your hair is the color of paper, you don’t get good lashes or brows. 

KARKAT

No, but, you still get placed on the cover of a magazine.

ERIDAN

True. But, most blonde Instagrammers. Either the hair color or the eyebrow color is fake. You can’t have the color hair of Daenerys Targaryen with those brows naturally. What lip color do you want?

KARKAT

You have like a nude? Or just some clear lip gloss?

ERIDAN

I do have a nude but,  it's my shade of nude so it might look different on you. I have this soft salmon color that might look nice.

(puts it on Karkat’s lips)

Yeah, that sounds good. Do tell me what you think.

KARKAT

(opens his phone) 

You did a pretty good job. You could do this professionally.

ERIDAN

You flatter me. Now, where are those boys?

KARKAT

I’ll call Dave. Maybe he fell asleep or something.

(Checks his phone ) 

Oh, he’s here. Sollux is meeting us at the restaurant, right?

ERIDAN

Yep, and he messaged me saying he is on his way. 

KARKAT

(peeks his head out ) 

Kankri! Eridan and I are leaving! 

KANKRI

What are you wearing? That is way too short. And your eyes.

Eridan stands behind Karkat. He is wearing a bodycon dress, heels and a full face of makeup.

ERIDAN

What? Don’t you like my work?

KANKRI

(turns bright red)

I ...I 

KARKAT

Quick!

(Pulling Eridan's arm and they head out the door) 

A Red truck is parked outside the apartment. Dave is sitting in the driver's seat. Karkat and Eridan both enter the truck.

KARKAT

Thank god you got here quick enough. 

DAVE

Your brother giving you a lengthy speech on celibacy and shit? 

(Starts driving)

KARKAT

Was about to till Tits McGee started talking then Kankri became red as his dumb ass sweater vest. 

ERIDAN

It’s a gift. 

DAVE

I still can’t believe you have never been to an Olive Garden

ERIDAN

I grew up with a chef and such so i rarely ate fast food. Until I could go on my own.

KARKAT

Well, it’s carbs, butter and  cheese. 

ERIDAN

My favorite. 

DAVE

Their breadsticks are the shit. 

ERIDAN

So I have heard. Kar! Don’t touch your eye. You are going to fuck up my work. 

KARKAT

 I had an eyelash.  Is it illegal for a dude to get an eyelash out of his fucking eye? 

ERIDAN

If I do his fuckin eye makeup ? Yes! Plus we haven’t taken a picture for Instagram.

KARKAT

You and your fuckin instagram. 

ERIDAN

It’s important. 

OLIVE GARDEN-EVENING

Dave pulls into Olive Garden. 

DAVE

Welcome to Olive Garden. Eat bread till you are sick. 

ERIDAN

Oh! There’s Sol’s car. 

(Eridan gets out and walks up to Sollux who is leaning by his car) 

Baby!

(hugs him) 

SOLLUX

Hey. 

ERIDAN

Kar, Dave this is my boyfriend Sol. Sol this is Kar and Dave. 

SOLLUX

Sup.

( looking up down at Karkat) 

DAVE

Hey dude. 

KARKAT

Hey. 

ERIDAN

So, lets go eat! 

They get a table. Eridan is looking at the menu.

ERIDAN

Everything looks so good. 

WAITER #1

Hey everyone welcome to Olive Garden. I’ll be your waiter. Would you like anything to drink? 

KARKAT

I’ll have a coke. 

DAVE

Water is fine. 

ERIDAN

Sprite. 

SOLLUX

Can I get a beer? 

WAITER #1

Can I see your Id? 

SOLLUX

Yeah. 

(rolls his eyes and shows it) 

WAITER #1

Great! I will get those shortly. 

(Leaves) 

SOLLUX

So Karkat? You into programming ?

KARKAT

I dabble in it. I am alright wouldn’t call myself an expert. 

SOLLUX

Which language do you use? 

KARKAT

JavaScript. 

SOLLUX

Are you still in the 90s’? It’s all about C#.

KARKAT

Please. The only it’s good for making video games work. 

SOLLUX

Isn’t that what you do? 

KARKAT

No, I make basic files and stuff. Nothing elaborate. 

SOLLUX

I see. 

ERIDAN

It’s so great to see everyone getting along. 

DAVE

So you know some people in the EDM scene? 

SOLLUX

Yeah. 

DAVE

I have some demos if you could send it to one of your friends.

SOLLUX

Yeah. Do you have a soundcloud or something?

DAVE

Yeah 

Sollux and Dave keep talking about music.

KARKAT

I was a bit hesitant about this at first but, I got to admit. You did good.

ERIDAN

Yeah, this is fun.

WAITER

Are you all ready to order?

KARKAT

I am.

Everyone says some form of a yes.

WAITER#1

(turns to Sollux) 

What can I get for you?

SOLLUX

I’ll do the chicken scampi.

WAITER #1

Great

(Looks at Dave)

DAVE

I will have the tour of italy.

WAITER#1

Ok.

(looks at Karkat) 

KARKAT

Can I get the lasagna?

WAITER#1

Of course.

(looks at Eridan)

ERIDAN

I’ll get the chicken parm. 

WAITER #1

Grilled or fried?

ERIDAN

Fried.

WAITER #1

Great. I will get your order sent out and it should be ready shortly.

(leaves)

ERIDAN

Thank you.

SOLLUX

(Smirks looking at Eridan)

ERIDAN

What’s with that look?

SOLLUX

Nothing, babe.

ERIDAN

Alright.

SOLLUX

Just a lot of calories.

ERIDAN

Your type is a thick boy. If you want to keep dating my ass, you shouldn’t judge my food choices.

SOLLUX

My type maybe thick but, I do like it when my boyfriend can still walk.

Karkat looks awkwardly at Dave and Dave does the same thing back.

DAVE

Um.. so DJ Cirava?

SOLLUX

Right, he’s one of my cousins. So, I can totally get whatever beats you want to play out. I can also get you into any club you want. I just need to call my fake ID guy. 

DAVE

Oh, sweet. That would be great.

ERIDAN

Yeah, his music is pretty well known in the state clubs but he can totally get you hooked up to the right person.

DAVE

Awesome. See, someone will listen to my music.

KARKAT

I didn’t say no one would listen to your music. I said I needed to be on enough ecstasy and around enough bright colors to enjoy your beats. I am sure you can make it. I just don’t know that much about EDM or the club scene. As, I don’t go sneaking out with my boyfriend.

ERIDAN

He needs attention too. Right Sol?

SOLLUX

(clearly checking out Karkat)

ERIDAN

Sol?

SOLLUX

Huh? Yes. Yes.

ERIDAN

You didn’t hear what I had to say.

SOLLUX

I did. I was just trying to pay attention to our other party. It’s important to listen to both sides of the conversation.

ERIDAN

But.

SOLLUX

Do we want to fight in front of our new friends?

ERIDAN

No, I suppose not.

_ Awkward silence _

Waiter comes along giving everybody the order. Everyone eats and is unsure of what to say. They leave to the parking lot.

KARKAT

Well, that was fucking great. We should do that again.

ERIDAN

Yes, I agree.  Sollux..are you going to take me home?

SOLLUX

I would love to but, I got homework and other stuff.

ERIDAN

Wow, you are doing homework. 

SOLLUX

Yeah, I need a high paying job to buy you those high brand shoes and bags.

ERDAN

I just want you to have a job that makes you happy.

SOLLUX

Well, my job is buying you designer things. Anyway. Good night. 

(Sollux enters his car and dives away)

KARKAT

Ok. because I am your friend, please listen to me. Your boyfriend is a dick.

ERIDAN

He’s not usually like this. Maybe he had a rough day at school? I promise he is generally more fun and outgoing.

DAVE

Is that at the club ?

ERIDAN

Yes.

KARKAT

And after he has paid for a few drinks for you?

ERIDAN

Yes.

Karkat and Dave look at each other,

ERIDAN

He didn’t even kiss me after leaving. 

KARKAT

Let’s get you home. We have to turn in that paper on Monday.

ERIDAN

You are right.

They all get in the car and Dave drives Eridan home.

SIMON-SANTIAGO APARTMENT

Michelle and Vriska are on the couch watching TV.

MICHELLE

Welcome, home baby. How did the double date go?

ERIDAN

It went...ok? I think. Sol was acting a bit moody. 

VRISKA

Obviously. He sees you as a piece of ass.

ERIDAN

He does not. 

VRISKA

Was this your first date you two didn’t have sex?

ERIDAN

I think it might be.

MICHELLE

You can text him in the morning.  Maybe he was just shy about displaying your relationship in a more traditional setting?

ERIDAN

Maybe. He was chatty with Kar and Dave. He even set up a time to meet with Dave and get his demo set out.

MICHELLE

I would try and talk to him tomorrow.

ERIDAN

Alright, mom. Thanks.

(kisses her forehead)

I am going to take a shower then get to bed.

MICHELLE

Alright, baby. Good night.

OUTSIDE CAFETERIA-NOON

Everyone is already eating lunch when Eridan walks to the group.

KARKAT

Hey, Eridan.

ERIDAN

Yeah, Kar?

KARKAT

I need to talk to you to the side,

ERIDAN

Oh? Alright.

Eridan and Karkat go to the side right next to the recycling dumpster.

KARKAT

Don’t be alarmed. But.

(pulls up a dick pic on his phone) 

You wouldn’t happen to know whose body this dick belongs to ?

ERIDAN

Th...that’s Sol’s. Karkat I am so sorry. 

KARKAT

No, I had a feeling so. He somehow found my number. I just felt like a bad friend during English for not telling you.

ERICAN

(choking back tears)

No, thank you for telling me.

KARKAT

You should really break up with him. Like I am in no fucking position to tell you what to do. But, after that double date between the fat shaming and him clearly gawking at me. I believe you deserve a lot better.

ERIDAN

I am so sorry he did that. I assume he got your number though his stupid hacking skills. God, I am such an idiot for not realizing it during dinner.

KARKAT

You are not to blame, Eridan. This fucking scumbag is though. You really fucking deserve better. Like, getting to know you better after a few months, I know you deserve better than that creep. He’s clearly dating you out of his own shitty insecurity. You shouldn’t get married to him. And for hell, you shouldn’t skip out on shitty cliche prom night over  him either. 

ERIDAN

I am going to call him once I get home and get this figured out.

(sniffs )

Is Dave mad at me?

KARKAT

No. He want to find this fucker and kick his ass, that’s for certain.

ERIDAN

I am sorry again this happened.

KARKAT

Don’t apologize for his ass. Just be happy it was me and not somebody else who didn’t have the guts to tell you he was pulling this bullshit.

ERIDAN

Alright.

VRISKA’S ROOM-AFTERNOON

Eridan is sitting on the bed looking at his phone. He take a deep breath in and calls Sollux.

SOLLUX

(picks up)

Hey babe. Sorry for my shitty behavior during that date. I can make it up to you by going on a shopping date next week.

ERIDAN

You can forget about that damn apology and that shopping date. 

SOLLUX

What?

ERIDAN

Kar told or well showed me what you did.

SOLLUX

Shit..I-

Eridan

No! I don’t want to hear what shitty piece of ludicrous poppycock you have of an excuse. I saw the pictures. They apparently were of your dick. I know every wrinkle and crevice of your cock. To think you and I have been together for six fucking months and this is what I get. You really are just my Sugar daddy, huh? I don’t want to hear from you ever again. Don’t even think of talking to me when I am over to see Fef or your mom. Understand?

SOLLUX

E-

ERIDAN

(hangs up and starts crying) 

_ Knocking _

VRISKA

Why am I knocking this is my own room?

ERIDAN

W-what do you want Vrisk?

(sniffles)

VRISKA

Some guy cheated on my little brother. You think I am going to stand by and just let that happen?

ERIDAN

Why do you care?

VRISKA

(sits next to him on the bed) 

We may not have seen each other in 7 years, but I will be damned if anyone messes with my little brother’s heart. Come on there are plenty of unguarded kitchen knives right now.

ERIDAN

W-WHAT?! I don’t want to kill him.

VRISKA

We aren’t going to kill him. Just give him a little stab in the leg. Ok maybe like many stabs. Does it matter?

ERIDAN

Yes. I don’t want to do that. 

VRISKA

After every cheating event, there is a good revenge story.

ERIDAN

What about mom’s? 

VRISKA

That’s different. That was  a mean of safety. Hell, I will call Karkat and we can all have a great stabbing party. Cut off his personal sausage.

ERIDAN

No! I just want to be alone right now. Like that might be what you would do if John cheated on you but, not me. I feel angry and want to cause harm but, I know I shouldn’t. Dad is already in prison. I rather not join him.

VRISKA

That’s completely fair. I wonder what’s mom’s thoughts on this. (she gets up and heads for the door)

ERIDAN

No! Don’t tell mom. Please. I really don’t want to upset her.

VRISKA

I am sure she would condone murdering her.

(Leaves)

ERIDAN

Vrisk!

MICHELLE

(Enters room hasitly)

VRISKA

(right behind her)

MICHELLE

That boy is the most horrible person on the planet.

ERIDAN

I am fine mom. Really.

Michelle:

Not. You are crying. My baby does not deserve that. I am going to call Cadence and tell her what happen. In the meantime, you get free access to whatever you need in the kitchen baby.

(leaves) 

ERIDAN

I don’t emotionally eat when I feel sad mommy. Only when I am vaguely feeling stressed. There is a difference. 

VRISKA

You get stressed that often?

ERIDAN

Fuck off Vrisk! I have a medical condition too. I could beat you in a whose breast are better and your boyfriend would pick mine.

VRISKA

: Just because yours are biggers doesn’t mean yours are better.

ERIDAN

(flashes Vriska)

VRISKA

(flashes back) 

MICHELLE

Stop flashing each other. Both of you have fine breast because I have fine breast. There for by genetics you two have lovely breast. Cadence is going to let you and Karkat have his credit card for the day. You two can buy whatever prom outfit you want.

ERIDAN

God, don’t remind me of prom.

MICHELLE

It will be fun. It’s one of the great American traditions. I am making Vriska go. There for you have to go.

ERIDAN

Yes, mommy.

MICHELLE

Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Y'all I finally made a tumblr dedicated to the series.  
> Check it out: familyjewlesau.tumblr.com  
> There I will be posting updates as well as other things.  
> I am in the middle of a writing slump right now. I don't know how I want to do some of the episodes as we get closer and closer to the Finale.  
> If anyone has any ideas or want to help in the creation of this series send me a message on tumblr.


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